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spoken Truth.
My inner conscious eating my every thought, you’re my dream.
Only thing to hug me, is my tears down my cheek. And To find my inner self I need you. Not only did I lose myself, but I lost you. In life I thought I had it but didn’t. Minute to minute fades to gray from a split image. Pictures seep through to love as the melody does. Capture it in your palm grasp it the way it was. Life leads through so many obstacles a personal war. Enter your heart to find it find me and what you live for. Like stars in the night so bright reflect to give me light. Given battles that I’ll continue to fight. |
anyone? :huh:
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this was nice...very short...but good grammer........good ryme scheme........good structure....overall a good piece just overly short...........keep droppin and hit up my audio............ez man id give u longer feed but tha piece is short soo....
get at da kid |
word thanks fam.
uppin this |
yup like u just said on msn i did like that...you were quite creative..deep idead stuffed in there..if u continued like that on this it wud have ben a tighter piece...do i need to talk about flow?....i aint so familiar with commenting on poems...anyhow that flowed pretty well except for some part but wait i dont think that matters...ahhh w/e...umm whatelse..wasnt 'conscious' to be 'consciousness'?..on the first line...well this was a gd one in conclusion kep it up!
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thanks uppin this for feed.
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uppin this for feed.
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It was tough. Im not a good person to give feedback but It seems you strayed for alittle but It all came together though. nice piece.
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uppin this for feed.
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this was nice and sweet....sorry i couldnt get on the comp to give you the poem i did for you....if you still want it get at me later i might still have it.
up your vocab though and sort out your writing content its sorta scattered here and there but all in all nice drop!. RTF on all my lniks bitch lmfao.! pls. :thumbup: |
ight thanks man. and yea ill still take that poem.
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iight ill get it to you later,..........im out for now
now go feed on my shit! |
lol ight. .
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Limited Edition aka Ennui...Oil Bury Flames All Day says:
Pretty nice man Limited Edition aka Ennui...Oil Bury Flames All Day says: Good work SaKeN RuNz 3o3 says: did u leave feed on it? SaKeN RuNz 3o3 says: lol Limited Edition aka Ennui...Oil Bury Flames All Day says: Nah lol Limited Edition aka Ennui...Oil Bury Flames All Day says: I will if you want Lol there. I left feed. Just playin. It was short, and the vocab was a little basic. BUt overall, it is a nice piece that shows good emotion. Good work. |
word.. :thumbup:
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