funny joke i just read
 

Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're walking along they see a little shack. They run up to it and knock on the door. This big, fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, lady answers.
The first man tells the lady about their situation and begs her for a drink.
The women says, "Sure, if you fuck me."
The first man replies, "I would rather die in this desert, then sleep with your fat smelly ass."
The second man wants to live and agree's to do the deed. The second man and the women enter the shack, leaving the first man outside. The women says, "fuck me then!"
The man agrees to do it only if she will close her eyes. He looks around the shack and sees a table full of corn on the cob. He picks one up, fucks her with it and throws it out the window. The women opens her eyes and asks for it again.
The man agrees and repeats the deed. The women is finally satisfied and agrees to give the man and his friend some water. The man calls his friend in and informs him that the women is going to give them some water.
The friend replies"Fuck the water, I want some more of that buttered corn."

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

hahahaahahahhaha

lol...funny shit i liked the first one though..

that buttered corn is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nasty !

LMAO


funny shit

Haha.. okay okay I got one..

A crippled lady with no arms or legs is laying on the beach when a gorgeous jacked lifeguard walks by. "Sir, sir!" She cries, as the lifeguard turns his head. "Yes?" The lifeguard replies. "I've never been hugged before sir; will you please hug me?" The lifeguard looks around to make sure nobody's looking and says "Sure, why the fuck not" and gives her a hug. Later on in the day the girl catches glimpse of the lifeguard again. "Sir, sir! Will you please kiss me... I've never been kissed before.." The lifeguard again makes sure nobody is watching, says "ahh what the fuck" and gives her a kiss. Finally the sun has gone down and nobody is left on the beach except the lifeguard and the crippled lady. "Sir, will you please fuck me? Ive never been fucked before." The lifeguard then makes a thorough investigation of the beach to make sure nobody is watching. He then lifts the girl into his arms, tosses her in the ocean and goes "Yeah. Now you're fucked."

thats mad old....but yea its funny

LMFAO at the first two, and this last one is comical as fuck. Her nickname musta been bob.

heard it...........

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender said why the long face? lol.

blind man walks into a bar...breaks his nose

a dislexic man walks into a bra...

them jokes go on for days