The Tale of Despite (will rtf)
 

www.soundclick.com/paranoidcan

beat produced by shawdowville

verses by me
and hook by me

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3132122
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3132114

hmmm.....quality is def better, likin this beat. sound like some freestyle type ish. ok, ya flow, sure it's on point, but it's very simplistic. need some kinda change in the rhyme scheme cuz after a while it gets boring n repetitive. u got a good voice for rappin tho, i see u got the monotone thing goin on but could still use some more emotion. chorus aint bad but needs better mixing cuz at first i couldnt even tell it was the hook.

thanks for the feed..upnizzle

You needa change the link 2 ya sc in ure main post I had to click thru you're sig..

Quality is better..I remember this song...I like youre delivery in this, emotion is a lil better...some lyrics seems baby-ish, and some of them seem like fillers, jus to rhyme the 1 before..nah mean...and you give away the story from the beggining, and also I think ure making up words in some places lol so they rhyme, but yeah delivery n flow is pretty nice on this...and btw half the lyrics don/t make anysense like that virgin line lol..."don't sacrifice life to feel the delight" lol whats that?..but anyway decent track..

word it was kinda weak written track i coulda wrote this better. but thanks for the feed.