when you see me
 

i coming in this game with money on my mind,
gotta keep it sweet like putting honey on my rhymes
ima be so sunny when i shine
cause these niggas askng for it like they hungry for the nine
i can make it rain ,leaving you wet cause of the blood
ive been through pain,dreaming cause of the hood
i wanted to get that money robbin,
now everybody is packed so im jobless
i let the way of machaiveli make me
i do what i gotta do so you can go ahead and hate me
im like the sun ima shine so brightly
just because im small dont mean take me lightly
cause ill turn it a bloody tee from a white tee
im in love with money so i dont really care if you like me
i aint got no problem making you lay flat
if i see money in ya hands dont be surprised if i take that
when you see me dont be surprised if im laid back
in the car with the seats way back
if you see me and my niggas in the streets you better stay back
i aint talking about seat belts when i say i stay strapped
or i can get something from my cussin
i aint really have nothing
saw my nigga with jordans on his feet when he started hustling
i represent my fam and i got bmore on my back
so you know when i make it big niggas from bmore is going to be on my track


(chorus)
when you see me,dont talk to me
when you see me,dont walk to me
trust me , i got the heart for g's
youll see me in murdaland,cause bmore is apart of me






http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3136162

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3136165

ight first off u need to drop this played out thug image..i cant say whether this is you or not but 95% of gangsta rappers whos on the net especially textheads are fakes and not real...so if u are being real try ta make it more convincing..that "im'a shoot you cuz ur gay" shit isnt gonna cut it anymore..most of all just be urself people aint gon feel your shit if u try being something u gotta have ur own sound..make ur music for you not for everybody else..like i said be you not makaveli

punches was ight wasnt really that spectacular but they was ok ur best line was "im like the sun ima shine so brightly just because im small dont mean take me lightly" which was still played out so work on that

ur flow was ight kinda got a lil iffy wit parts of it but wasnt completely off balance so make sure you polish that up as you make ur songs

and last but not least u need to work on ur structure like alot. your lines were all over the place you need to put them together alot more better..i need help myself but u defintly need help

im not gonna grade this wit a number cuz i feel like a number can say too much but i left it explained on what i thought was good and bad so just work on ur shit u might come out sounding good...u aint wack but u need work..just being honest love it or hate it

flow was cool
multis you could use mroe
vocab was weak content was weak
like that would be decent for audio but text wise you need to improve alot

good lookin on the feedback even though i disagree

u would tho..lol...yeah i got the same idea as mindstate...as soon as i hit a thread which has got bullshit gangster shit in it i switch off...dont wanna read it...it aint real...u aint a killer..u might shot a lil dope here and there...speak tha truth man, be real...anyways on ya flow and shit was aight, ya vocab was waaaaaay basic...u show signs of talent tho, u aint completely shit, just need to improve on a few things...mainly topic and vocab...pick up a dictionary or somthin...

It was ok,........ bit boring and played,... still writing the same way as last
year haven't evevated like I thought you would.

Flow was alright but basic,... no real vocab,.... topic too played.

Bla

Your vocab was weak and the gangsta rapper thing dusnt cut nemore lyricz was ok however u need to use more interlectual words u dig i sort of enjoied it keep at it and u get betta.....

this flow was aight.
good job