|
saved
quick keystyle i did
walkin through the maze trying to reach my goal finding the key to success watchin the truth unfold is life ever perfect never tragic i think not without conflict well never grow just give it a thought so im ready ready to face the lingering storms never trusting anybody but myself cuz their truth is deformed they lie and they tear ur soul apart cuz they dont have ur best intersts at heart so im walkin still walkin in the maze coming to another turn passing through another phase now im not even sure wat my goal is why is my mind fading in to the abyss stress deceptions and lies from close friends choking me never letting me free so i can be wat im destined to be i try to cut the rope but i cant do it alone im going deeper and the pit is encased in stone i try to claw myself out but there is no hope cuz im still choking drugs were the rope but then i see a glitter from above my parents had come to show me some love they raise me up take me high away fom the mess and moved me to a another location so i can reflect where my life was going i guess i took a wrong turn now thank god that i can return to the right path still fight valiently fighting the temptations and succedding to sum decree |
uppin for sum feed peepz i want to see wat i can work on
|
|
|
Nice flow was on point in this vocab was well used and message was felt
1 0r 2 repetitive points but nothing bad all in all a good piece enjoyed the whole read Peace. |
nice rhytm and flow of things man
shit was cool creative and compelling in a way nice shit man really though expand more on your vocab and usage man cus yours seemed to basic |
tahnx for the feed cuhzes like i said im new to this still tryin to learn.. lol uppin for more feed
|
Good Imagery, Bad structure, flow was kinda off...overall a decent drop 4/10
. . Best line - walkin through the maze trying to reach my goal finding the key to success watchin the truth unfold- . Worst line - ready to face the lingering storms never trusting anybody but myself cuz their truth is deformed |
not sure it belongs in poetic scriptures, but i'll give u feed anyways... i didn't particularly appreciate the "flow" of it, the length of ur lines and # of syllables varied too much not to notice... nice concept, pretty creative writing, but you could increase your variance went it come to vocab, a couple spots sounded repetitive... overall, nice piece playa, lookin foward to more, keep writing...
|
nice rhytm and flow of things man
shit was cool creative and compelling in a way nice shit man really though expand more on your vocab and usage man cus yours seemed to basic |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:20 PM. |