rap these days!
 

so ive been at this rap thing for 5 months and 3 days,
and im comin up faster than the cars drive on the free ways,
but i still cant get the publicity that i need to get big,
cause i cant seem to catch it like a slippery wet pig,
i see other people get it so easy like it aint no thing,
i write better songs than most and im a freestyle flow king,
fools like ja-rule, and fat joe dont deserve to be famous,
im takin over and stickin my size 23 nike up there anus,
shove it so far up there ass there breath be smellin like my feet,
im more gangsta than them thats why they come to me to buy heat,
ill take on any mc that wants to get shut down,
half the peeps out there gettin big because they bein butt clowns,
takin producers cock in the butt than suckin it clean like it hot shit,
one example of that is the dude who sings, lean wit it rock wit it,
i dont really care cause there the ones lookin like dumb fools,
with there cock suckin ass slurpin up cum pools,
they talk about big rims and pimpin hella hoes,
some think they hot but i know the fella blows,
lipsinking at shows, they aint nothin but some fakers,
frontin like they good like the dumb l.a. lakers,
but in all reality im the best thing since sliced bread,
and im goin one by one puttin lead in there liced heads,
so look for me cause im takin over hip and hop,
and wont quit till i empty my clip and stop.

NO LINKS NO FEED!

your bars are stereched... You need to take out some words...
For example...

so ive been at this rap thing for 5 months and 3 days,
and im comin up faster than the cars drive on the free ways,

it would flow better if it said this.

"i've been at this rap thing for 5 months and 3 days
comin up faster then sports cars on the freeways"

It still pretty much says what u want it to but, its shortened and flows better... I feel like the whole verse can be fixed like that and re-done. keep writin