Keystyle
 

No need for introduction you should know who we are/
300 J.G. and we reppin it hard/
Movin in on the game like roaches in P.R./
Our repetoire's to leave your squad disfigured and scarred/
Lames need to get back before they get smacked/
Put em to work for cheap, cheaper than a fucking wetback/
jail's a minor setback/
Like the natives were to whites/
The deebo's of the world, man them dudes aint right/
but in sight/
the towelheads'll be craig one night/
They already knocked out some teeth in few second fight/
or a few hour flight/
whatever the case/
Whoever's at the top we plan to take their place/
Who's first? but really I should say who's next/
One verse will cause more severe damage than two tecks/

quick keystyle. was bored and needed practice No disrespect to any races or anything just spitting.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3180345

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3180346

hmmmm....u need to elevate on this....the rhyme scheme stayed on point i give u that....the punches u were tryin to throw in were not creative enough and really were just basic....get more creative or complex....i give this a 5/10....well just keep practicing....work on punches and being complex with wordplay if u lookin to elevate in keystyles.....if u need any more tips...pointers....etc....send me a message and i'll help u out....id liked to see something u concentrated on other than just keystyles/freestyles....id like to see a written......~1~

Yeah no doubt.I havent been able to write like that lately cause of shortage of time but Ill be straight in a little. good looks.

Danm...
cuz im puerto rican so i wasnt feeling a line or 2 in there....
but its all good its just a verse right??

now this is like the same kind of level the other one was at?
why drop a keystyle in open mic?
they got cyphers for that called key your heart out...

but the flow was aight..
the concept wasnt to good...
the creativeness level was low...

aight let me see...

yo try listing to the hottest song u think was ever made or either the hottest beat ever made... listen to it for a few min it and write down whatever comes to mind.... after u done re-read it and fix err'as or things u feel shouldnt be there... then try fixing things u see that maybe to simple with no punch... try adding a bit of multis to get ya flow better... and word-play do help as long as u got the right words to play with...

thats what i do listen to a hot beata nd then go off that then re-write it or try to make it sound better....

dont just drop whatever u got fix it then re-read it spit it out loud then if it sounds good drop it....

u will get better....

i also give this a 5 outta 10...

also young fear....try listening to some of the underground rappers out there....my favorite ones are immortal technique....canibus....jean grae....some others that are out there.....they are creative with punches metas and all that etc.....they get me hyped when i listen to them ....and also help me try to be creative when im writing/typing......

~1~ stay up