Thursday Night
 

I was just listening to a beat and I wrote this up. It's not very polished, but whatever. I've been leaving feed so I'm not gonna drop links.
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I can’t take it, I’m fucking sick of this shit
I’m picturing it, I could do it. Nobody would be missing this bitch.
There it is in the sink. Shining. Glimmering rays of hope
I grab the key to my freedom. Why am I the one she hates the most..?
She’s meant support me, I’m meant to bask in her glory
What happened to the happy ending of my magical story?
Driven to edge by her insincerity,
I enter the room, fake surrender to get her near to me
Full of energy, there we both stand…
And I do it, and blood dribbles down and drips off my hand
And I’m a man. I’ve dealt with it myself.
And she looks into my eyes, and she’s begging for help
And I don’t give fuck…..It’s the most intense feeling I’ve ever felt.
My eyes are cold, I stare back at her and she knows
She knows everything I’ve thought about her and never told.
And every argument we’ve had in the last 12 years
Is finished.. Mixed with blood and shed out as tears
from eyes full fear and surprise
right before her nearing demise arrives… and she dies.

Something must have been in the air on this cold night,
When a normal man was able to end the life of his own wife.
She was screaming for help, but only he heard her
And it hurt her so deeply… Cause HE was the one committing the murder.
How did this all start? The merging of the now pitiful hearts
Is it love? Together… Until death do us part.

Brother... You gotta expand on the story a bit more.. The flow and vocab of this verse was pretty simple, as long as it did the trick over the beat you were using then thats fine..

My only beef with this verse was that there was no real plot other than the guy was angry at his wife for some compleatly unknown reason, he felt a bit emotionally scarred and he ended up killing her..

Maybe you should go and chop up this verse and add some more too it..

Theres plenty of ways this could go and all the verse needs is a bit more story.......

I had to get started on something else and this verse was my procrastination -_-. I had a story in my head, but only took a chunk out of the middle and turned it into lyrics. To lead up to the murder, and continue after it would have taken too long. That's why I added those 6 shitty 2nd person lines at the end. To escape. lol.