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-   -   The God Poetic>Chuck Norris (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=246309)

J. Luth 05-15-08 06:17 PM

The God Poetic>Chuck Norris
 
All original. Check if you must. I had to show my worthyness to my Gods Poetic.

1). Poetic. gave birth to his parents

2). Poetic. once lost a boot... and used Italy as its replacement

3). Heart disease is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world. The first? Poetic

4). Hitler was almost awarded the Nobel Peace Price in 1932- only a careless typo on his application kept him from winning. The typo? "Poetic was here"

5). Poetic was not potty trained. Instead his toilet had to be trained not to run away from him

6). Poetic laughed and ate chewy brownies through 2 girls 1 cup

7). Poetic pray to himself at night

8). Poetic turns on women with a remote control

9). Poetic eats his own shit for breakfast

10). WWPD bracelets now sold in stores

11). The groundhog isn't looking for his shadow... he's actually looking out for Poetic

12). Poetic fired Donald Trump

13). Poetic not only smelt what The Rock was cooking, but also ate it

14). When ET phoned home... Poetic picked up

15). Lord Voldemort refers to Poetic as "He Who Shall Not Be Named"

16). Poetic know Arnold's last name

17). The US did not drop nukes on Japan... they dropped pieces of Poetic's feces

18). The movie "Rambo" is an unauthorized autobiography of the lives of Poetic

19). Poetic doesn't think outside the box... they live in it

20). Poetic cut Michael Jordan from his high school team... just because they thought it would make for an inspirational story

21). There are a few individuals who believe they are sexier than Poetic. 15% are in a mental institution. The other 85%? Poetic's breakfast

22). Poetic tucks your parents in at night

23). The blob was a stray booger of Poetic

24). The energizer bunny kept going and going and going... till he ran into Poetic

25). Tony the Tiger is reffering to Poetic

26). Even blind girls masturbate to Poetic

27). David Beckham bends it like Poetic

28). The dog didn't eat your child's homework... it was Poetic

29). You can party like a rockstar, fuck like a pornstar, look like a movie star, but if you don't live like Poetic... you ain't shit

30). Poetic fucks Lucy when Ricardo isn't home

31). Michael Jackson was right. The kid is NOT his son... it's Poetic's

32). The lil' freak from the Sixth Sense could see dead people... but he couldn't see Poetic

33). When Obi Wan says use the force... he is referring to Poetic

34). When asked who they want to be when they grow up, 99.9% of kids replied "Poetic". The other 0.1% were deaf, and just stood still

35). Parents don't send their kids to school to receive an education... they send them in hope that they will learn to be like Poetic

36). Poetic can say "Toy boat" 100 times in a row without messing up

37). If your girlfriend breaks up with you by saying "It isn't you...". It's because it was Poetic

38). Obama girl has a crush on Obama... too bad Obama has a crush on Poetic

39). Don't be suprised if you see Poetic atop of your kid's Christmas wish list

40). Poetic stole Darth Vader's inhaler

41). Martin Luther had a dream... and it involved Poetic. Overcome with embarrassment, he later improvised his speech. Oh, what could of been

42). From now on, all President's State of the Unions will begin as follows: "My fellow Americans... and Poetic"

43). MTV cancelled their newest episode of "MADE" on the grounds that it was too impossible. The kid's goal? "I want to be made into Poetic"

44). This just in! "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" just added a new lifeline for future contestants... "Ask Poetic"

45). Waiter's tip Poetic

46). God didn't create Adam and Eve... he created Poetic... HE created Adam and Eve

47). Jeeves asks Poetic

48). Behind every great man, is a great woman. And behind that woman? A naked Poetic

49). Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village". That's funny, Poetic's private areas are also named Canada.

50). On the 7th day God rested. Hell, who wouldn't after spending 6 days creating the unstoppable force known as "Poetic"?

51). SNAKEEE LOL GET OFF ME MY MANS (not a fact, but I just had to b)

*bows*

Cola 05-15-08 06:23 PM

lol, man, that must have taken some time erasing Chuck Norris on every one of those and putting in Poetic.

but on a serious note, were can i get a WWPD bracelet??

J. Luth 05-15-08 06:25 PM

^LOL nah son these originals. I created it for some other "joke" shit me and my boy had somewhere else. LOL we got up to 200 before we stopped coming up with ideas.

Cola 05-15-08 06:28 PM

i've heard like half of those before, but for the sake of bashing the hell out of this fucking loser...all i gotta say is, HOLLA. ECLIPSE ALL DAY

Cola 05-15-08 06:28 PM

speaking of cars, i wonder what kidna of bike poetic rides, a 10 speed or a BMX

WhoAmI 05-15-08 06:29 PM

lmao @ 32 heh heh

Nitrogen 05-15-08 06:32 PM

lol wow the ET shit was funny as hell

J. Luth 05-15-08 06:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by King_Aphilly
i've heard like half of those before, but for the sake of bashing the hell out of this fucking loser...all i gotta say is, HOLLA. ECLIPSE ALL DAY

whatttt? which ones? put it in google find it for me. lol Shit be impossible to come up with original ones sometimes. But to my knowledge I don't think any are taken ~_~

J. Luth 05-15-08 06:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nitrogen
lol wow the ET shit was funny as hell

yea, I actually gotta credit JTR on that one. lol nig was showing me a line he was gon use for a battle while i was making shit. So I jacked it :cool:

Nynth Degree 05-15-08 06:36 PM

BOOOOOOOOO!

Cola 05-15-08 06:40 PM

im not reading all these, cuz theres 9 pages of this shit....and this is only one website. But like i said, i'm all in favor of dissing this fairy.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/new.html

J. Luth 05-15-08 06:42 PM

lol nah all you gotta do is. Put in the one that sounds familiar to a chuck norris shit. and it should come up in google. nah meansss

l

Cola 05-15-08 06:47 PM

yeah, but i dont caaressss, either wayyyyyyyy

J. Luth 05-15-08 06:49 PM

ECLIPSE ON EM MY MANS!! :shoot:

SNAKEEEEE LOL GET OFF ME MY MANS

Cola 05-15-08 06:52 PM

was thinkin bout going down adn getting a nice big Eclipse logo on my hood in white across my hood and getting some exhaust this month. But gotta get a quote first


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