Your love is my demise
 

It eats me alive
I've, been restless since it arived
Lied to aid its hide
It wants to escape it wants to be known
It plagues at the gates it hates to be alone
Lend it an ear pour me a beer
Drunk minds speaks sober thoughts so I'll let you all hear
Something so gruesome I knew some would fear
This speech better this spell spawned in hell and brought to you here
A tale of my past my downfall my failure at last
She prayed I'd decay before my concience prevailed
Before judge and a jury I say I fear not a jail
Ready thy self for there isn't a help
Once from my lips these trechorous words be delt
T'was I who done it the reason he's dead
But it was she who encouraged and put the thoughts in my head
You wished this upon me conned me to action
Bask in your glory wish I could see your reaction
The crimson of wrist leaks quiet and still
A peaceful expression I did this in will
My act was suiccide this letter penned before I died
My secret no longer hides

I loved you...

...to death

Can't leave links since i wrote this on my phone and dropped but i left feed on

It's a beautiful noise by Germ

and

Half Man Pat by S.V.

I'll leave feed when i get off of work.

Well, i shouldn't have to go to those pieces just to see if you left feed on those pieces i'll check'em out later and if you didn't i'll close this and anything else you drop for 3 months.

But feed wise, wasn't really impressed by the flow nor the word choice, plenty of vivid imagry to a certain extent so not bad on that, emotion could've been basic but the structure really fucks the piece up visually, could've been alot better but i understand its from your phone so props for that.

Thanks for the feed. Sorry i didn't post links i can't copy and paste on the celly. It was a 10 minute keystyle might drop it in audio

Eh. this was not that well written. It was an alright read but could have been written better. I did like the story that you layed out and thought that the end was the best out of all out it. But it could have been better. Good shit though.

Thanks Kirk good feed. Nice sig I dig The Beatles

yea no disrespect but i didnt like this at all. it really had no imagery, emotion was average and that was probably the best thing about it, flow and vocab was basic and you really didnt have the good of a word selection. no trying to be harsh, just speaking how i feel. looks like u didnt really even try. but stay up and try again. good luck wit ya future drops
3/10

None taken. Appreciate the feed none the less

piece wasn't all that bad i feel sum the things u said could have been better but hey who am i? lookin forward to more drops

Thanks appreciate it glad to see another active cat on RV

good verse and i understand the written part being from celly, fav. line was the drunkin mind speak sober thoughts... its so true sometimes... very good shit.. overall it could have been longer but still good. i liked it. overall 7/10
keep droppin cus we can only get better... not worse

Word thanks for the feedback. Scanz where you been?