18th birthday gift
 

like frank lucas and george young rolled into one
thats what ive become, the feds know what ive done
thats why on my 18 birthday at 12:01 the cops decided to come
looking for some funds, some guns, or hopefully so numb
but nagh they couldnt locate shit, cause me and boy both
knew dont say shit, you wont even get me on probabtion bitch
yeah that dude over was sealing some dope but what the corallation is
between me and him do you have meetings on tape
where shits displayed, or are you trying to play some head games
you got pictures of me and that little case dont look like time in prison to me
it looks like something you just drummed up you dumb fuck
you gota come harder then that, and next time you show on april 5th
bring a cake and ill blow the smoke in ya face and make a wish

Dope concept for what your title is. You need to word it better and make it flow smoother it has pottential to be something good. Keep elevating. Oh and on this site when you drop an Open Mic you gotta leave two links to other Open Mics you left feedback on so I suggest you do that before the Mods close this.

Stay up

decent drop but sound to familure to me.. but i'll be back with better feedback..

you need to post two links to other peoples oepn mic you have left decent feedback on or this will be closed.

decent shit....real good for your first drop....get links....and i'll leave better feedback.

good flow... concept decent... actully it wasnt but your verse was...creativeness was average but ( above average for people on this site ) there are areas you could touch up because it seems you lost track or tryed to squeez in to many different idead that dont work together for this piece... elaborate a bit before posting some random thought shit it will help u out but nice drop and keep them coming...

P.S NOTICE HE AINT BEEN ON SINCE I SAID HES VERSE SEEN TO FAMILURE....
HMMMMMMMM.....

Eh, this was alright. I'm not too much into the gangster deal but if that's you then it's alright, I guess. Need to work on your vocab. a bit more and try to make a picture of what's going on better and try not to jump from one point to another without and decent setup into the next part. But I guess it was alright. Could have ended it a bit more interesting though.

i'm diggin the drop i've had alot of law trouble 4sho and always tend to write about it no matter how hard i try to avoid it.but hey if it was that significant then write about it,feel me? still it could have had a better flow and been a lil more creative but the basics are there.i'm waitin to peep sumpthin else.....................