Steel Sky
 

Chorus Chris Stylez, Kage(back up)
verse 1: kage
Verse 2: Chris Stylez
verse 3: Manny Faces

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pag...&songID=7216621

Rough version. Might need to redo the verses. I was sick as shit when i did my parts so a definet redo is in the process. But tell me how the rough version is.

first guy good slow steady flow creepy too can hardly understand what he's sayin.

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could put more into the hook. but i like the dubs after u talk other dude says somein, thats catchy. should do that through the whole hook sound like bone thugs, its ill.

your verse. u should lower your voice a lil and slow up a lil or dub your lines more so they are easier to hear and catchier
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last guy when the beat drops, is the catchiest cool shit i think
he also comes in good. i like his flow the best on here i think. im diggin his shit the best for sure, the way he dubs it makes it catchier, should put a bridge in at the end or just that dudes dubs that were on the hook.

could have a lot done to it to make it worth bumpin in a car for strangers, but def decent

alright.. first time ive heard your stuff...

kage needs more high frequency in his vocal... easy to fix... i think the 'manny fresh' guy has the best vocal on the track... you were ok, but again the highs need a little more.. i aint much of a fan of this slow flow type stuff, but i aint holding it against ya track.. few production issues which we all have when we dont have pro set ups... i noticed you were talking about being underground, man one thing i can say is that your style is probably more geared towards mainstream gangsta rap on this track... could be sellable if you were working with a professional producer with a bit of mad technique....

you should try using more multis in your flow you sort of need to these days if you wanna sell it also the hook really needs something more its not catchy enough... id prefer to hear something faster from you....

but then the next guy might hear this and absolutly love it so really its just a matter of style choice I think if I look at it unbiased which is what i try and do with all tracks... just the production i recon you guys need to amp up on and be a little more catchy with the hooks...

its workable though........

preciate the feed. ill try to remember that when we do the final version. Been slacking on my actual rapping skills. Cuz me and Kage is also working on a band right now. which is comming along nicely. But once things go smoothly for the band i might start commin vicious with verses. But through school work, band sickness its hard comming hard with the whole hip hop scene

yea first guys lows were overpoweringgggg....slow flow is kind good for a start off/build up hope its not the same all the way. he ran out of breath a few times, lost me a few times...its okay the dubs need to be on...needs to be bigger...more layers n shit
your dubs are WAYYYYYY to loud you dont want them overpowering your main vocals...
you sound hesitant...relax a lil, show me some swag, i dont want to hear your lyrics...i want to hear you rap...there is a difference!
hook is boring sorry...
the 3rd guy has the most swagger...he went off on some weird shit tho...lyrically was just confusing...to me....

not a bad start...keep elevating

Beat - + good shit.

breath control on the first guy is the worst part. he's got a nice flow IMO it fits the track and presents his own swag. But the breathing is so easy to make out it kinda kills it for me. Nice content/Flow work on the mixing sound/breath control.

Eh, the hook needs some work, good content/concept, but the way its dubbed/drop in of the steel sky part doesn't quite fit.

second guy's emotion isn't placed well, doesn't sound that enthusiastic just kinda spitting/reading it without putting his attitude it.

hook.

third guys verse is the best IMO, his emotion is on, his flow is on, but the doubles in it sound a little off at first. Also the beat drop he should bang it out ya more ya know.


with some fine tuning, it could be CRAZY i think, just need to work a little more.