Now.....
 

Say I was in the woods. Alone. With nobody else around. Now say I masturbated and reached climax at the same EXACT time a tree fell down. Now if we came to an agreement to not tell on each other. Did these actions occur?

Discuss.

Well, firstly.. in what role do I enter into this equation?

I am allegedly present, am I the one that has brought the tree down? And also, if it is you in question who is responsible for the alleged masturbation, could it be possible that the death jizz was responsible for toppling the tree?

These are the things I must know.

Ahhh An equation. Do you mean equation literally as there could actually be some scientific equation to put into play the velocity of the sperm from climax to the velocity of the tree falling? And other mathematical explanations? Interesting.

And yes. It was just me and the tree. The tree and I. Nobody else around. All our dirty deeds unwitnessed. Death jizz could have been the cause. I usually pass out after climax due to the high velocity of my sperm leaving my penis so I could not tell you.

The addition of a third party is interesting angle though. Somebody with Tego like reflexes maybe