It's numb
 

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0056#post300056
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0057#post300057

Scandal fables check the mind’s ability to think
Tangled tables peck the eye’s chivalry, slews blink
Smells of pink test masculinity’s incandescent rage
The sweet taste of purity denies a pre-pubescent’s age
A chess stage holds rival pawns of black and white
Coincidence played in a subliminal square, cornered fight
Much to my delight structured fuckers sell their souls
While pretentious suckers spell ‘blow’ with iridescent coal
But maybe I’m amazed at tolerance levels of insects
Relevance, absent blazed prophets writing sin~checks
Never cashed presents to un-phased toppings on vice
Greed craves more as realization surpasses one slice
Little spice, unoccupied minds even corrupt innocence
Faster than accountants accounting every nano-pence.

I LIKED DIS 1 MORE DEN DAT OTHA,IF SEEMED MORE STRUCTURED N LAYED OUT BETTA,I LIKE DA WORD SCHEME U USED,U DROPPIN SUM HOTT RYMES HERE (PUTS ON GLOVES),ANY MORE????DO DA DAMN THANG,RICAN LUV

Nice flow.. had some short multis.. good content. Saw the hints of wordplay here and there.. and you did a good job spreading a little knowledge. Nice open mic..

lol thx man, Thats fopr poeple to see that hip hop is worldwide baby...
thx for the feedback

i felt ya vocab and small mutis but das all i really saw check da Elements of rap in wackness emergency center dawg it might help (no beef)
U can only get better ~1~

yo samurai you probably didnt even check it man,
Scandal fables check the mind’s ability to think
Tangled tables peck the eye’s chivalry, slews blink

Fables-tables, Check-peck, eyes-mind, ability-chivalry, think-blink, scandal-tangled every word rhymes man, that alone is a very difficult task especially for it to be understandable, Im sorry man, but if you couldnt grasp the essence of this verse you should be the one in whackness emergency center, (no beef)

I'm only sayin cuz when da rest of da verse came u dropped off of dat style it's like u was demonstratin da different rappin styles if u want ur rhymes to be da best they can possibly be u would got to the page i told u to but u ain't gotta take my word for it
U can only get better~1~