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Feelings
Its Killing Your Feelings,To See The Wall Paper Peeling
And Theres A Patch Where The Ceilings Been Leaking Your Seeking,A Place To Breathe Cause The Whole House Is Reeking In The Corner,You See A Dirty Faced Little Boy Weeping You Peep The The Floor Next To Him,Its Where Hes Been Sleeping You Go Up The Stairs,And See That The Landing Is Bare The Sight Is So Rare,Family,Living Like This And Not A Soul Cares In The Bedroom,The Mother,Bleeding,On Her Head Not A Hair Inside You Stir,You Cant Hold It Any Longer,You Just Have To Swear The Bedsheets,Straight Down The Middle,Theres A Great Big Tear Inside Theres A Great Big Roar,That You Cant Ignore You've Never Felt It Before,Feels Like Your Gettin Stabbed With A Sword Ya Heart Soars,You Rise From The Floor And Turn Towards The Door Your Head Feel Sore,And Your Begging For More,Suddenly,You Exist No More |
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alright some crazy imagery in this........which didnt make much sense. dont fall into the trap of using as many rhyming words as possible for the sake of having multis in your rhymes. if there was a philosophical point to this piece, and i presume there was, i didnt get it. dont make rhymes which are too complex for anyone too understand or no-one will appriciate it. but on the upside you're one of the few guys i've seen on here in a while who has potential. keep elavating. |
this is more like it, i liked this drop, you had some crazy imagery in there and some nice metaphors, felt the pain and the emotion behind this....
you had a good flow to it too, you had substance and technical skills on this....maybe just a little short, but overal i liked this |
man i dig that youve got a big imangation and thats great your real oringial and thats good im sick of peeps just rappin bout the same shit over and over its sick. it is a little short but you get the message in that space reall clear i like it keep pumping like that!
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Thannks...
Uppin |
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