what can't Toll do?
 

topic - you find out your best friend and your girl have been having an affair. how do you react? what do you do? what do you say? how do you feel? etc etc



Got of the phone, just spoke-with-a-dude, after he broke-me-the-news
My girls been fuccin around, guess I got some smoking-to-do
Hope he’s spoken-the-truth cause someone’s gonna get broken-and-bruised
Not gonna just approach-and-then-shoot…that shit~would~be~weak
I know we argue but I must have done something shitty~to~cheat
And to think, I was wishing~to~speak, about the fact I haven’t hit~it~in~weeks
My best friend and my girl!?! Sentenced to death and I’m-the-jury
Filled-with-fury, start heading round to her house, hadn’t made~a~plan
Blade~in~hand, I swear to you God I fuckin’ hate~this~man
His car outside her crib, that bitch for a dudes-gon’-die
And that slut for a girl, for what’s she’s done I wanna see her bruised-and-sliced
Walk in the door, 8inch blade makes my intentions-clear
“What are you doing here?” she screams, confidence in her voiced dressed-in-fear
Her eyes shed-a-tear…”Would you have told me if my boy hadn’t spied~and~informed~me?”
“Answer my question bitch, don’t even try~and~ignore~me!!!”
He walks in disturbed by commotion, “Get the fuck out!” He cried-and-blurted
I want justice and I’m the guy-to-serve-it, one swift slice and my knife’s-inserted
He’s done for, my old best friend hits the floor~bleeding, time for her-to-die
This fuckin’ whore’s~screaming, oblivious to her words cause all she’s done is serve-me-lies
Time to return-the-spite…raise~the~knife turn the blade~and~strike
My ex lover’s body hits the floor….drained~of~life
Can’t believe what I’ve done…head filled with guilt, tears-on-my-cheeks
Hear sirens in the distance…start to fear-tha-police
Paranoia attacks, my visions been distorted~for~a~while my thought’s~going~wild
Blood on my hands, a dropped blade and two corpses~in~a~pile


So now I’m scum, I deserve to die…the evil that the Lord-sends-to-hell
But that’s the future, for now I’ll go back to telling stories-from-a-cell


“lights out prisoners”

That was ill. Some top lines in there. I was really feeling it. It flowed tight throughout.
Tell yo i wouldn't wanna be your best mate if yo in a bad mood. lol.

Well done, top rhyme.

Peace

Hot from start to finish...
yo the flow was hot, just consistent, never slowed it down...
almost every rhyme in every line is on point...
and you pull that storytelling style off pretty well too...
notin' bad I can say bout this one... shit was ill man, no doubt...
Much props man... keep spittin... Peace

thanks for the replies....up

upwards ^^^

maybe its just me, but im not really feelin this... its too basic

i thought it was pretty good...it showed alot of feelings that everyone has had at one time or another. And rhymed words most don't try to.

i agree with all the cats above yo, except i was feeling this piece!

ill shit man ,ill be on the lookout for your shit!

~1~

hit up my post too!