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"9 months of solitude"
the months of creation spent facen another
two sons with eyes un-open,placed inside a hopeful mother cells gathered setting the stages for the phases of tomarrow an unseen danger unpredictably filled a half empty bottle with sorrow a light borrowed permanently left the others in shadows brothers battle for sufficientcy,missing the loss of tranquilities embossed in an embodiment of criss-crossing abilities still it seems in solitude there's only room for the presence of one amongst a wombs discressions the essence of a shinning sun was spun relying upon the breath passed through the lungs of life steadfast in limited mobility,still striving with steps to survive my heart beats,i'am alive but left blind to each new day hands and feet reach internally for freedom,but solid walls restrain pushing against the curtains grains with all my mustered strength just another month to wait,escape my brothers fate and see the world but im concieled,yet to be revieled,sealed as my mothers precious pearl destined 2 steal 1's inner errodesence,feeling stronger by the second,growing restless so i send subliminal impulses answered by uncertain questions "is this the pending moment?" "or a message emerging unclear?" fearing the sincierity of intentions but my minutes are finished here heading towards the exit of entrance,nearing my final approach my idle's broke,a single stroke away when suddenly focus froze hopes and dreams fade astray in a smokey haze that is death its undeveloped figure & face chose to choke my fluid breaths no second guessing my lucidity, i' am completely aware solitudes' left me cornered carelessly, murdered by internal affairs ~1~ |
FYI: This was for his topical battle, topic was Solitude.
This is hot! Well, I didnt read much, but just the idea of pre-birth 'solitude' is the illest... Cise |
aww man... this was deep... loved the imagery... this one's pretty original dawg... I would have never thought of writing something like this... the concept itself makes this a hot piece... and you had that strong vocab to back it up...
Very complex, but it makes sense.... the flow itself could of been a bit better though... Let me ask you man, how you think up a topic like this? ~1~ |
Nice... I like the originility in this b/c honestly how many peeps would think of writing about being in a womb?... lol.. Tight as shit Endo... keep it up and don't sleep on this...
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i guess the topic just hit me, i didnt wanna write another verse about being in like mental solitude, i wanted to portray the deepest image of solitude that exist and this is what i thought of!
lol |
the months of creation spent facen another
two sons with eyes un-open,placed inside a hopeful mother Notice the 'two'.. I sense a twin brother... relying upon the breath passed through the lungs of life steadfast in limited mobility,still striving with steps to survive dope my heart beats,i'am alive but left blind to each new day hands and feet reach internally for freedom,but solid walls restrain hotter! pushing against the curtains grains with all my mustered strength just another month to wait,escape my brothers fate and see the world If you dint see the meaning in this everyone. Kid had a twin brother, who died during birth. Deep! so i send subliminal impulses answered by uncertain questions "is this the pending moment?" "or a message emerging unclear?" fearing the sincierity of intentions but my minutes are finished here wow! Well, i finaly actualy read a whole peice! This was dope! No question about it... Cise |
thanx for the in depth reply cise, dope shit, thanx again homie!
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yo peeps please do not sleep on this, come on!!
i posted it to get replies so lets see some yo! |
damn....
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word^ exactly
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aight im really gettin pissed over all the sleeping goin on in this forum, what the fuck do you post something for.....to get replies and this forum is fuckin tranquelized or somthing damn!!
wake the fuck up and leave some critisism! |
damn this was nice, its nice to see an orignal topic,(lol thats somethign i need to work on) nice flow, nice imagery, no tips cause i dont want to try and act like im the best ever but just keep dong what ever you do.
no go reply to my keystyle |
"My 2 Cents..."
Deep....:D I loved this shit dog...Ill imagery. The flow was on point at all tmes, and ending suprised me...I thought I had it figured out half way through it, but then the last bar hit me like "damn!".........
9.5/10......... Wordplay could've been used a bit better, but, Ill none-the-less....... Stay spittin........ P.E.A.C.E. |
you already know what i think of this one...
keep elevatin dawg, eh, NCP !! |
this is wack ...i want more replies!
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