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-   -   My first textstyle (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=32000)

Voice2012 02-22-03 04:03 AM

My first textstyle
 
never will you ever compete with me
forever i will sever your chances completely
of ever being a higher quality emcee see
as long as i exist
everytime you see a mic you'll get pissed
you used to be the best
but were
confused when it came time for the test
you choked
out of you the worst i evoked
and out of me you forced
out all my talent uncloaked
i cannot think of a better way
to tear you down and make you pay
make you wish you could
take back all those things you did say
so while you stand here today
and your mood starts to sway
remember they're just words
no need to break heads with curbs
i know it sounds absurd
stop and watch as i flip the bird
fuck you you suck too much dick
standing there looking at me
licking your lips
i don't play that way mmmmkay?
so get of my stage, as a poet
you're not even worth minimum wage
turn the page
of a dictionary till you get to rhyme
study it
learn it
then maybe you'll ascend to my level

Voice2012 02-23-03 02:02 AM

ahhhh i see...noone replies huh?

Voice2012 02-23-03 03:12 AM

it would be nice to have some critisiscm going on...i've never showed my flows to ANYONE BEFORE.....and i don't know if i am good or not....i have my own beats...and these were wrote to them...so I guess really you'd have to hear them like that.

But i would like to hear what you think of the lyrics alone. and what i should work on...etc.

Alias-C 02-24-03 11:12 AM

I don't know man, I'd have to hear you flow to those beats...
You flow was pretty good, but could have been smoother...
Now your wordplay and rhymes... those need more work than your flow... they're simple... and your consept's been heard over and over... vocabulary was pretty simple too... I ain't saying you got to have that complex ass canibus like vocab... but still, it shouldn't be that simple... let cats know your able to rhyme with more difficuld, more diverse words is what I'm trying to say...
You ain't whack to me... you straight... just keep working on it...

BlUnT-MC 02-24-03 12:00 PM

u gotta take your own advice
"turn the page
of a dictionary till you get to rhyme
study it
learn it...."

a wider vocab goes along way... ea:
you my metaphorical slave.//
bustin relaxed flows in a euphorical way.//
leavin' you know'n you gotta elevate.//
to accelerate in this rap game you gotta change from being the same.//
you need to find-ja style before ne-one'll be pressin' play to a track you sang.//

Voice2012 02-25-03 10:46 PM

well, i am obviously not going to begin by posting my best work....that is for later...but i liked this one, simply because of what it puts out...message wise....Everyone, myself included needs to become more intellectual with their flows.

DollaDimez 02-26-03 01:35 PM

ya flow was off in some parts, i was liking the word play though. just put it together. start 2 bars at a time. like:

my Wildlife raised made me, with animallistic tendicies/
I steady stalk my prey, then devour these emcees/

thats not my best shit, but those are 2 bars. just work it like that while staying on flow.


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