new sumthin check it out
 

here's a little piece i started writin in english class.

The tears of this world try to drag you down// Drown you in your own pain like a flooded town// Everyday is a struggle just to survive// Not countin’ havin’ to worry about gettin jacked by knives// Not many understand what you’re goin through// So you just drift into your own world and conceal who you really are// Shield yourself from the negatives that leave you emotionally scarred// Hopin the world will stop judging you by the color of your skin// But for who you are truly deep within// Look at the prisons, that’s a prime example, u think it’s a coincidence that they’re full of African Americans// Look who’s puttin em there in the first place// Mostly middle class White Americans// That neva heard of rap// They prolly think Nellyville’s a place on the map// U see they prolly grew up listenin to Elvis// They were the ones that thought it was a crime to shake your pelvis// Since the early 1900’s things have been changing// There’s still millions in this world hatin// Hatin cuz your white, hatin cuz your black, hatin cuz your skinny, hatin cuz your fat// Why can’t everybody just get along// Stop all this racist ish and just join palms// It’s time to UNITE everyone, we can make the world a better place// Just remember not to judge others by the color of their face// 1 UNITE

u had sum real good points in hea,sound like sum ish i would post lol.I could feel where u comin from,dis wuz short & sweet.Most heads spit full 3verse songs and still sound like trash.Ya got potential Stay ^
-Avi

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thanx fo the reply. more comments plz!!

it was alright, u need to think bout how u word things to make it more intreeasting using shit like personification, metas, ect
also do ur bars one under another cos they mad uneaven itl help u tell
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p.s. peep my shit no one dun