tell me my flaws!!
 

went to the club to spit some rhymes
Bouncer said hey,LOOK, we don't want your kind
And he tossed me out, flat like that
Told him he could suck on the fat of my cack
what the hell do they mean my kind
short hommies who come looking for
lyrical fights, straight steriotyping
Me and mine, just because we like to rhyme
I said FINE and I turned to leave
Not before i called him a greeseball geek
mucsle head freaked, chased me through the parking lot
I ran bout half a block....looked over my shoulder
alright think i lost him and i started to walk
Just then spotlight hit my eyes
Lockspeaker voice, hey you stop
Or you'll pay the price
Fuck it, i broke into a fast pace run
Jumped a fence, like i was in a fuckin marathon
cause right then at that very moment
For me it was either gold, or nothing
I lost em once i jumped the 3rd or 4th fence
took off my hoodie and ditched over someones fence
Now the only part of me they'll recognize now
Is my ass cause that'ss all they got a decent look at...wow
Got away clean, but in the end i know i did'nt do nothing
I jus started running, cause i knew i could
It was either that or get beat
and i know for a fact i'm fast on my feet........

this is weak, you have some simple ass rhymes, and it didnt flow good. keep working though. im not trying to sound like a hater or anything, but instead of writing 3 wack songs a day take your time and put more thoughts into 1 song, people are going to stop reading your shit if it always this wack.

^^ tru but let me not be as blunt
this piece needs work, ya flow is mad simple, try re readin n workin on ya vocab, and work on tha concept, no bodies gonna wanna read sumthin with a weak subject, especially if you aint aint good and can do wonders with it, so work on it
*constructive crit.*
keep uppin