Alcoholic cuz...you'll all love this
 

*Alcohlic Cuz*

Broken and twisted, he sits there alone
shiverin, but it ain't from the cold
tips the bottle back, takes 3 big gulps
Alcohol's seems to have taken his soul
lifes changed dramatically
right before his eyes, he thought hey
there's nothing wrong with partying
everyday, every night
who needs an education, he though to himself
i can bum off my freindz till they'll no longer
give handouts
and when it comes to that my family won't turn there back
cause bloodz thicker than anything
except for that 6 pack
Hey cuz gimme 10 bucks so i can get a 40
I said no, then he said but *CUZ*your my family
you know i'd do it for you dawgg
And you know i'll get you back
I turned to him and passed him a 20
saying i better get it back
even though in the back of head
a voice said hey, that money's gone "G"
you ain't never getting it back
1 years gone by still he drinks
all by himself, his breath always reeks
boooze his only salvation
his welfare checks his grace
cause it buys him his savior
so he can feel safe
can't go a day with out drinking now
if he does cold turkey & sweats
alcohol his only religion
and he does so with no regrets......

DIS SHOWED PROMISE,WAZ A LIL SIMPLISTIC,BUT DA STORY BEHIND IT WAZ ON POINT,ID RECOMEND DAT U TRY N USE MO COMPLEX BARS,BUILD YO VOCAB UP,BUT GOOD ALL ROUND,1

I agree...

quote:
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Originally posted by Black Magik
quote:
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Originally posted by MOLOTV
DIS SHOWED PROMISE,WAZ A LIL SIMPLISTIC,BUT DA STORY BEHIND IT WAZ ON POINT,ID RECOMEND DAT U TRY N USE MO COMPLEX BARS,BUILD YO VOCAB UP,BUT GOOD ALL ROUND,1
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I agree...
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me too... : )

I'll actually reply...
yo man, I don't think anyone has posted something like this before, your topic was good man, i was feeling the concept, pretty deep and original, but your wordplay man, your rhymes, they needed your... you had had better rhymes, stronger vocab, and made it a bit longer, this would have been an ill peace...
I give you props on content alone dawg... should try to re-write it
Peace