yo
 

i wrote this rhyme to be rhymed with a hint of a jamaican accent that how it sounds its best. it is agressive but conscious


whats goin on with our generation?
its like we wanna shoot each other until we all gone
power dont come in the form of a gun
violence lovers they are the lost ones
what gives u the right to take the innocent young?
putting life behind value of reputation
drink drug and fight outside of moderation
we all smater than that so why act dumb?
all yall look what the worlds become
gangs shooting passers by as they try to run
nowadays you need drink and fights to have fun?
its like you wanna end up in a police station.
its been going on for far too long
men that wan beat up on woman
what kind of home is that to raise children?
obsessive fools going on like scum
why dont political shit involve politician?
they aint the ones that take up all the land
killing innocents aint laws of islam
killing innocent dont make good christian
aint no way of controlling a bomb
not only evil men get killed in explosion
aint no where near enough protection
for innocent children and civilians
so how come you standing by their stunned?
has getting told how to improve our lives stung?
let hope that the common sense bells have rung
lets hope we can improve our situation

yo man i liked your over all messege, some lines didn't really rhyme to me... but you said you did'em to sound with a jamaican accent so maybe they rhyme if I'd hear'em that way...
YO man the pace of the flow was nice, I'm give you that, ther rhymes had a good messege, the wordplay wasn't that good...
Straight man, peace...
Oh yeah, i like this rhyme the most, it's simple, but the it's still nice...
"gangs shooting passers by as they try to run
nowadays you need drink and fights to have fun?"

thanx alias-c has ne1 else got ne tips 4 me? dat would be useful. peace.