critique my shit pls
 

ever kid in americas on ritalin cause there parents are sick of hittin them so they give um a magic pill so they could chill then you wonder why they grow up to rob and steal be real pay attention to your kids don't leave em alone so you can go and bone get involved in there lives so they can survive and thrive alone on there own while your sittin on the thrown waitin for that saurkrout to come out feened on a can of baked beans heinz variety inspired me to take a shit to see what smell i get pretenden its not you smellin like pepe lepu ........

ok first of all....you have to make bars.....you have it like one giant paragraph.... its hard to get the flow..... i cant find it unless i try to search for it....nahmean??

you go potential....ill def.. tell you that.... creative verse tooo! pez


and oh yeah reply to my shit in this forum called "HO!"
Thanx for returnin a favor

yo what are bars,
like this form,
is this the norm,
writin in the storm?