What up, this is my 1st freestyle here...
 

what up everybody, I'm always makin up little rhymes on my own and i figured i'd drop somethin here and see what you all think, if it sucks, let me know, if its hot, let me know.

Compared to other niggas Im just a rookie in this game/
But you know sooner or later im gonna taste my share of fame/
Cause what you see here is just a preview, its only gonna get better/ And if you battle me ill turn your rap cold, boy youll be throwin on a sweater/ Most niggas here think that there the best in the game/ But the truth is, there about as smart as a retard tryin to spell his own name/ You go against me dawg, its over, forget it/ youll get embarresed just like a dude that just filled his pants with shit/ Come on bitch, dont deny it, you know this shit is tight/ sayin its not is like sayin that Vanilla Ice aint white/ This is only the beginning, you just wait till later/ Ill make you feel like a zero, youll be callin for the operator/ This country is like an old TV, Its black and white/ And your rhymes are like a slut, they suck every day and night/ Before i go i got one more thing to say/if you like Benzino, fuck you, that faggot is gay.

^^^^

Dis sh!t wuz aight,u had sum decent punches
*And your rhymes are like a slut, they suck every day and night/

Jus up ya vocab & add more multis.Stay ^
-Avi

nice vesrse some good vocab jus work a bit on the flow


7/10

Yeah I gottah agree with Av1r3x, you do got some straight punchlines, gottah work on that flow though, but u new, you'll get better... your sounding kinda simple, try and make your shit more interesting... a bit more complex... and like somebody said to me before, strong vocab goes a long way...

Peace