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-   -   Suttin' for tha new RB (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=32666)

Av1r3x 03-01-03 10:41 PM

Suttin' for tha new RB
 
Hey kids,its been sumtime since I spit on hea wit tha site closin & re-openin.I wuz bored as hell in school yestaday,so here it iz...

I come from a place where heads think pain is sublime/
Ask God for favors,knowin I'm prayin a lie/
I'm doin mah best to be stayin alive/
Mah armor's a vest AK and .9/
Folks say they love me,got nuttn but hatin inside/
To get rid of me they re-enact sum of they favorite crimes/
I look back on dis week and wish sum of tha days'd rewind/
Prevent sum events dat put so much grays in da skies/
My heart is cold but I'm blazed in tha mind/
SO much stressin...all the mayhem is fine/
Famz dont kno mah lyrical status so made 'em see why/
They'll neva be critically acclaimed rappaz,dey 3 ages behind/
Jus talk irrelevance,like fillin ranges wit dimes/
The bling is in mah waist,look how tha stainless can shine/
Its real heavy it'll mah ya brain vacant in 5/
Da spot to be on top,is so blatanly mine*

hopefully I'll make a betta follow-up to dis.Jus lemme kno wutchu think
Link 1
Link 2

MOLOTV 03-01-03 10:58 PM

4 damn sho u doin da damn thang,felt a lil simplictic but couldnt help respect its style n creative drop,stay up,1

Av1r3x 03-02-03 07:37 PM

Thanx,one of mah weaker spits but feedback still needed

Baysick 03-02-03 07:41 PM

ayo-
Feelin it, So nice lines in there, Loved the last one, Good closers are so importent too, they sum it all up.. which yours did very nicely... great job, enjoyed the read.. Upin this

-eD

Alias-C 03-02-03 07:53 PM

not too original, a bit simple and short, but had some good lines...
"Folks say they love me,got nuttn but hatin inside/
To get rid of me they re-enact sum of they favorite crimes/"
"My heart is cold but I'm blazed in tha mind/"
pretty good for something quickly keyed

Peace

VI Souljah 03-02-03 08:00 PM

u definitely doin yo thang. ur wordz were kinda simple but fit in nice togetha. I liked it. keep doin yo thang.

Rawdeadly 03-03-03 12:14 AM

Shits WEAK & WACK
work on it alot kid...


Peace.....
1.........


Ps: and no i wont help u get better by tellin u what needs work
figure it out by writting more WACK SHIT LIKE THIS....rookie

MC Illest 03-03-03 12:15 AM

that was pretty good right there

•Cist•M• 03-03-03 12:47 AM

*cough*rawdeadly's wack*cough*


i liked it, sort of simple, made it only better

props

respect

peace


Av1r3x 03-03-03 06:12 PM

lol yeh i kno dis shit iz mah worst 1,it wuz a quick keystyle so i used no vocab wutsoeva.Hopefully a betta follow-up will make up 4 it.


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