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-   -   In the Depths of my Eye (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=32938)

Truthful State 03-03-03 09:52 PM

In the Depths of my Eye
 

You see me, look the other way & you don't/
Acknowledge my smile, but in other ways you won't/
You hold me, naturally I know your there/
Staring into ones eyes make me question how much you really care/
As time progresses I see your effortless ways/
The love I have for you has evolved, into a helpless gaze/
You've tainted my mind/
Robbed my godess of her fruit/
Wasted my time so I define you as thy blinded brute/
Bearing the fact that now you must leave, batters my heart for there is so much I want to give & recieve/
In a relationship I need affection/
But you couldn't possibly give with your life in the wrong direction/
I took a deep breath and gave you time/
While all along I saw our relationship dying/
I sacrificed my all, gave my mind & once I'm gone you'll soon realize that me, ya girl .......was one of a kind//

Let me know wha'chu think but please don't be brutal if the poem need be criticized

Truthful State 03-05-03 12:49 PM

.................

varentao 03-06-03 08:27 AM

I dunno..

...i mean even though technically i felt it had some flaws..

..when i first read it, i got caught up in it...maybe it's the personal depth...i dunno...but you captured some emotions real good..

....nice...for sure...

....respect...


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