Untitled
 

Washed Hands Erase Tha Dirty Spirits
Ungodly Figures Get Judged And Perish
Along My Path To Righteousness
Thinkin Back In Tha Day Sayin
Homie Lets Light This Shit
Blaze A Page Kill Some Time Killl Ourselves
Not Get Caught Go To Jail Whatever Cost
Heaven Hell Influenced Merely By Tha
Roots Of Evil See Throughs Started Makin
Sense Under Naked Skin A Couple Flips
And I Could Win I Only Ran In Circles
Hoppin Trollies For Transport Late Night
Trips No Curfew Seein Televisions In Tha
Back Seats Of A Tinted Acura Thinkin On Ass
And Dough A Nervous Wreck Worthless Vet
Walkin Tightropes Through Dark Tunnels
No Circus Net Takin Life Or Death Surface Steps
Gettin Whatever I Could Cruel And Decietfully
Thoughts To Self Life Needs To Be More
Than Just This Every Once In A While
But I Wont Lose My Grip Time Slips
On Tha Regular And Never Stops Movin
We're Where We Wanna Be In Life Or
Lost In Confusion Lifes So Unpredictable
Fulla Suprises Im Unsure Of Myself Sometimes
And Whats Upon Tha Horizon Someday I
Wanna Be Married With Children Blunted
Happy With Millions Blowin On A Bed From
A Fan On Tha Celing Was I Fit For This Game
Where Can I Picture My Frame Answer Question
Only Time Can Tell As Tha World Turns I Travel
On Footprints Of Fallen Soldiers With Everything
That I Learned God Liftin My Feet Always Forwards
My Movement Until I Collapse And Cant Do It
No More How Could I Be Weak?

~Content~

Upping....

I dunno...

...i mean i felt the 'content' of this piece..(er, not pun intended)...but then i felt the 'chains' linking the some of if together, to give it a better flow weren't as strong as they could/should be...

...i mean there's subtle, whcih is all well and good...there was quite a few 'subtle' yet strong chains in this piece...but also some which were not too strong..

....it had great persoinal depth to it....so much so that i didn't understand all of it...and maybe got more of a personal meaning of my own, than yours...

...very raw, and 'on the edge'....which is rare to see...and i felt it was finsihed well....with the overall exection being very good...

...so overall, this a very, very good piece in my opinion..but SOME of the weak 'chains' which ended up disrupting SOME of the flow, meant i couldn't call it brilliant, but that's on a PERSONAL level of my own...cos i can see it has a personal depth to it (of yours) that makes it brilliant on the writers (that's you) level...


...respect...

varento..sorry that my flow was disrupting as you observed it all and let it soak in for ya...glad that someone actually repled kinda though...thanks much...always know thy self...its always my life on a page homie and noone knows ya better than yourself unless your livin a lie....respect back..peace

~Content~

It was nice, the meaning and stuff behind it, you gotta read between stuff to pick it up. Nice one.


Stay Up

ummmmmm thanks

~Content~

it took me a sec to pick up on the flow of this one, actually I don't think I did until I stopped looking for one and just read it, y'na? But I did like it, the bars messed me up for the first half of it, I couldn't find any. I think I was looking for something that maybe you intentionally left out? If you did that on purpose it was genious and even if you didn't it was good to stumble upon... I liked this peice a lot

Thank You

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