Rhmyes That Float
 

he keep the beat the going, as he starts his rhymes flowing,
and everyone b knowing, and they b showing,
there praise, as they raise, there arms in the air,
they all bein fair, showin that they care,
this time.. everyones prepared.

last time he gave the people a blast,
rappin the most creative rhmyes, his talent was vast,
but too much good was being revieled too fast,
it was only his first time, he had no past,
he was like the main event, he came out last.

everyone talkin about how his game is dope,
sayin how he rocked the boat,
his rhymes being as a tight as a rope,
he was better than all of that,
he made that boat float.

so everyone waits for the nextime, he posts his next rhyme,
he doesnt claim, any of this fame, that he receives
he just works his good deeds, and gives the people their needs,
sayin anyone can rock the boat, he then receives a post,
telling him about his flow, saying his game is MAX dope,
he better stop cause he'll do more then float the boat,
now the rhymes are like gold, cause its comin from his soul,
now his all done, with this rhmyes that he wrote,
he doesnt want his flow to overload,
so he ends it here, so the boat wont bloat.

much better... keep it coming unfire... keep rhymin

Not bad unifire, u learnin everyday and elevatin every day which is the main thing about this game dogg, keep it up, all i can say is expanding on your vocabluary would do yo rhymes a wordl of good, keep the good shit up man.

Peace

i thought it was basic and boring honestly.. kinda bland for my taste.. keep practicing , try to get a lil complex atleast once in awhile to keep the reader interested, this isnt the radio jock spot.. no catchy beats... gotta have a tight presentation of words

thanks doggs for the advice, c'mon ppl dont be sleepin on me, give me some feedback..
peace out...