feed back please
 

thunder cracks as the rains starts pour/
it comes down by the gallon, and it covers the floor/
it soaks thorough my shirt and chills my bones to the core/
while i stand at the corner thinking lifes such a bore/
and whats more is i have no one to hold/
it gets darker and darker as my body goes cold/
watch my story unfold, and my skills break the mold/
ive been told that the nice are the last ones to finish/
their careers end so fast and their talents deminish/
but im a new kind of nice with my hand on the trigger/
i will open your eyes so you can see lifes so much bigger/
so much quicker then you could ever believe/
all the thoughts and intentions you could never conceive/
but my mind i decieve, cuz im still the kid in the rain/
to proud of my ego to let go of the pain/
its no game, my lifes completly insane/
while my efforts in vain i find that one thing remains/
and thats the feeling i get when i pull of my soak shirt/
and with that i pull off my pain and my hurt/
with death do i flirt but i still carrry my message/
and to others i will pass on this lesson/
of whats good and whats not/
whats bad and whats hot/
who lives and whos shot/
and my lifes real plot/

Not bad Boo, you found the flow and u rhymin good with plenty a multi's, keep it up dogg..

Peace Out!!!!

boo