![]() |
Air Supremacy
True elevation is closed eyes looking inward...with due criticism.
If the light inside us were imbued with a prism... it would permeate our essential being... The true formula for seeing: consists of 124,000 critical parts, all agreeing... The prophets, They have shown us the way. But the weight of this world presses hard to stop it...it's difficult to keep yourself at bay. If you were to measure paradise with the most of accurate measurements... You would find that no amount of pleasurements... if converted to currency, could ever cover the costs. Even if in this world, you were a President, General or Boss. Yet God promises it freely.... Anyone who thinks he's endowed with special merits... drags a dead cow of demerits. With no milk tommorrow you'll cry... It's a shame you worked all of your life to die! The eyes of hell-fire look steely.... And so I've drawn tha linez...I'm in a war against myself ! And I'm running out of time...calling on God alone for help! Suppressing desire is the key. Whether it be women, the finest cars, or money... Don't get me wrong, with limitations I have all of these. But what most live life for is a disease. You see, the true Air Supremacy, is a station higher than us. It comes not by wealth...but with God's Trust. It's a shame that most are still content with dust. Lost in levels of lust...forgetting God's contemplating... making a creation that's better than us. True indeed the Devil's in us. Now that you can recognize him, Draw Linez and...BUST !!! :D |
If you were to measure paradise with the most of accurate measurements...
You would find that no amount of pleasurements... if converted to currency, could ever cover the costs. Even if in this world, you were a President, General or Boss i was really feeling that part.. keep comin dirty wit dem rymez.. |
Thanks GanG,
ReeeUPPPIN' |
Just Upppin!
|
I liked the meaning, the vocab, and the rest....but the flow sucked! honestly...work on that...
No more than 16 syllables per line...no less than 13...that'll help alot... P.e.a.c.e. |
Can anybody say breath control? Spacing? Cadance? I have an off-beat spoken word style flow. Some just don't get it. Anyways, it just might not be your cup of tea. Thanks for the critique. I'll keep it in mind but I'm not going to change my style. reupppin'.
|
reupppin.
|
I liked it ... meaningful... *true tear* *wink*
|
Thanx again Angelic. Reeeeuppppinnn!
|
uppin..
|
uppin...
|
1. Stop upping so god damn much!
2. Reply to more peoples open mics! |
Hey dukes, Heads shouldn't be sleepin on these. They need it. Anyways I have 80 posts more than half of them replies to other peoples stuff.
|
Don't make me slap you up side the head with my mouse.
You heard what I said. |
good rhyme.
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:50 AM. |