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Nightmare
God tapped me on my right shoulder
handed me the right to fight as his soldier sun rose from the west thrice, nights were colder the conclusion, no more living illusions under the human plan, time for sacrifice envision beduans fighting with rusty knives didn't listen the radiation of nuclear light had my atoms splittin couldn't phathom the atmosphere had risen but still i was sent on this mission with no percision no skill knew i was too fake just to kill couldn't take it looked down at the ground to see that i was fully naked speechless to the fact that other people were faceless six billion dead to be raceless couldn't explain it with mathematics soul spew outta my temple franctic heathens punished for breathing Satanic treason my heart stop beatin no more decieving myself got sunked outta this piece of shit at the speed of 10 stealthes saw the land masses melt away all classes the final clash protrayed the great Allah wrathes remenents of carcasses could this be the end of the Narcicyst so which one of the seven levels judges wanna burn in hell with the Devil couldn't say a word realized i was just another sheep from the herd didn't qualify the sentence, must have chose the wrong verb bynging, crynging to feel my sin synging woke up in a cold sweat to hear my phone ringin weakened, half alive like i was paralyized as a host staring at this burn mark on my arm, shape of a bar code |
this was hott...i read right through this...man ya flow was on point..somma ya vocab was a lil twisted wit ya sentence structure...but ya wordplay picked somma that up...
not bad man nig...not bad at all... holla one...hunnet |
gOOd ish playa...like he said, ya vocab was on opint, weLL as ur wordplay...Ilike vocab and tha topiQ in this was gOOd too...kEEp up tha gOOd work kiDDo...love...
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good lookin out guys...i'm not into poetry that much but i'm startin to get there though...actually this poem is in two parts maybe later i will post up the second...anyways thanks for the positive feedback...one
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this was most definetly raw with imagery n strong vocab (even though at times i felt you did over elaborate with the more complex vocab, but then again, that may just be the way the piecce was....but the inconsistency in some parts may say different...but it's all good..)...
..anyway, brilliant the way you built it up....and ended it on a very chilling and twisted end...first i thought it was something to do with the Jews in the aftermath of Nazi Germany concentration camps, you know, so ill now in an allied hospital, paralyzed with fear, fear being the parasite or something like that... ...but the reference of Allah threw me off that perception of this piece...but i got a couple other more personal and weird perceptions out of it... ..it seemed to have a certain amount of persdonal depth to it for sure...what was it about from your 'eyes'? Whati mean is, what were you writing about exactly, from your point of view....?.... |
you see i am originally Iraqi...did you know that it is manadotry that an Iraqi male the age of 18 has to join the military for 5 years...basically this poem is about the Apacolypse, and how none of us are ready for it...that and it's anti-government in a way...hope i answered your question if not just i dont know reply again and i will try to give you a better answer...good lookin out..one
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LONG LIVE IRAQ AND THE TALENT IT PRODUCES
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Quote:
Are you related to him or something?.. |
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