First impression~
 

I see you. my mind is racing, sorting through thousands of words i have committed to memory, yearning to find the appropriate and perfect ones for this occasion.
Quicker than possible, i discard them one by one, realizing none capture the intensity of all i want to say- until finally I'm probing through nothing.
That same nothing is the empty air that turns into the lump in my throat as I try and swallow my failure. inhibiting me from speaking, i am forced to just watch, arms folded across my upper body, stopping my heart from jumping through my chest.
It's a volcanic eruption of emotion searing through my skin, burning to escape--only to take form as a smile. But a powerful smile. an intriguingly intense smile. I hope.
I cant stand still. My hips sway side to side as if they hear a song my ears ignore.
You're getting closer, and i want to just kiss you, and squeeze you until you think of nothing else but me. but- I settle with a nod of acknowledgement instead.
cuz i GOT to be suave.
Now, you're about 10 feet in front of me---10 feet too far.
In case you've come to take my hand and sweep me off my feet, i inconspicuosly brush my palms against the fabric of my shirt, to rid myself from all evidence of nervousness.
cuz i GOT to be suave
I know you can't hear my thoughts, but i think as if you can. i wish you could.
You're so close i can taste your scent lingering on my taste buds, and i gladly soak it up.
I bite my lower lip anxiously, goin through a mental checklist-
how do i look? are my clothes straight? no stray hairs?? check.
Is my breath fresh, and lips succulent? check. do i smell good, is this pose sexy enough? check.
am i STILL suave?? maybe....damn...
All this before hello.

this is real to me, i dont know bout yall...

for some reason i felt there was suposed to be a rhyme scheme up in there...if there was...it was terrible:cool:...but ya structure is what fucked it up...ya concept was nice though....just revise ya structre n fix parta ya vocab son

holla

one...hunnet

lol sum bits in der got me chukklin, nice piece but ur ryhme scheme woz a bit out. i could feel wot u wer sayin
peace ~roX~

Aye, this was nice once you got into it....

...but then the lack of structure and disrupting flow put together made it kind of akward, and less like poetry..

...still, i felt once i got into it, it was nice....the concept and the personal depth it had to it, imagery n some of the vocab used....

...enough said, resepct..

I feel what yall are sayin, but i think it flows when its read right, i guess its jus the perception. But thanks

listen to sage francis...its like your speakin but
sayin your thoughs instead of searchin for words
to rhyme and only rhyming when i coumes in place
while still sequentially describing the events

outside the box......no bad

~Content~

sage francias huh....aight thanks man