canadian flavor part2
 

yo the bomb i droped last time was some wack shit//
that aint my style so let me confess//
i anit no gangsta just some craker from a but fuck town//
i just sit her spilling these rymes//
think about all the dumb crimes//
think about all the people in the world with out spines//
look at all the hard times//
oh no sudam it is almost that time//
but enough about all the crimes~and~times//
let me go in the back and fill up some dimes//
i think about all the great minds//
what the fuck happend to mine//
i sit on the porch and listen to the wind chimes//
think that it might be my time//
to come off the set and show you guys what a kid from nowere can do//
with my mom in the kitchen cooking some stew//
looking at the list of shit i have to do.

much better this time peace

give me some feed back on this one i think it much better

Yeah it's slightly better than your last post, yo just have to stop usin "Preschool rhymes" like :

i anit no gangsta just some craker from a but fuck town//

&

to come off the set and show you guys what a kid from nowere can do//
with my mom in the kitchen cooking some stew//
looking at the list of shit i have to do.

Man like look a the words yo have used, u need to expand your vocabulary alot which means learning and using bigger words and don't rhyme with such simple words aswell. At the start it didn't rhyme at all so try and make it rhyme the whole way through with a consistent rhyme scheme!!
Just helpin yo out dogg...

Peace out Yo!!!

come on pps look at this on a little bit better

it was a bit better... not really tho... you can't elevate in one day.. it takes months or even years ta finally find ya style and achieve a good flow...

flow but not much else you gotta just keep posting you'll improve as you practice it

thx for the critisim

aight man look ima help you

[url]http://www.synanyms.com [url/]

look here for different wereds u can use indatead of trying to ryhme time and time aight dog, maybee hit the whack emergengy center nd spit a line or two, hen when ppl see the degree of wackness youll have 2100 muthafuckas tryna help you,

Fuck Canada tho