Yo check my shit out n tell me wat use think
 

Yo check thiz shit out:

Yo im up in my crib chillin like a villian/ rappin rymin, just killin/ u know my rap game is great/ n dis just a taste of watchu here mate/ yall see that when u battlin against me/ u b barkin up the wrong tree/ so listen up g/ u dont who i b/ cuz ill break ur neck with the quickness of bruce lee/ n all them peeps be bouncin to my jive/ look at urself man, when u beat u cant even keep thiz crowd alive/so wat u gonna do now u gonna cry/ cuz if u do ur a bitch dat aint even a lie/ so watch who u fuckin with im the lead/ n ill roll ur ass up n smoke some weed

i wasnt feeling this...you need to work on structure..loose the /'s and pic a topic other than "im the dopest,dont fuck w/me" cause this didnt prove that...like i always say..dont say you are iLL, prove it..get me? anyways most of these lines were played, put your shit into bars, not just a big paragraph it is too hard to read, and kills the flow for me....keep writing and just try to elevate...

~2~

i like it

that shit was off course and shit.....I wasn't feelin' it

chillin' in the crib like a villian.......nah wasn't feelin' it

nah.. not at all.. it was VERY weak and made use of alot-a played lines... keep elevatin'