God's manifesto for me??
 

There is too many questions in 1 life time to answer them all
so dont try! shit will juss get u more and more frustrated.
Im considering moving back to NY cuz shit is so fucked up where ever i go so might as well be wid my boyz and gurlz to.
idk juss read and reply.

What is the answer to lifes question//
Everything i do i learn a lesson//
Yet im still sitten here guessin//
This life has me constantly stressin//
What's goin to be my destiny//
I look at myself in da mirror questioning//
am i right or wrong for the way im living//
or do i need to stop takin and start giving//
What is my heavenly manifesto//
I honestly need to know//
I feel lost with no place to go//
My life's at it's end? i juss reached the intro//
Is this gods manifesto for me//
I dont understand like a blind man that can see//
I dont remember the last time I was happy//
I juss wanna live the rest of my life intelligently//

Uppin fer replies

awwwwww damn that was kinda wicked however i dont belive cussing is a art of poetry unless it is to show anger or repression emotion...you just kinda through the S bomb up in there for no reason
however
was abeautiful peice

loved teh read
luck

Fairly alright piece...

...i mean okay, so maybe at times a bit too simplistic and sticking to ridigdlt to the rhyme scene..

..but seemed fairly raw too, you just letting it all out...and at times showed some sort of depth to the peice that brought it alive...

...overall it was a solid enough piece...respect..

i liked it....i don't like writin' this poetry stuff....i like battlin'

uppin

I agree i think the meaning was what kept this alive---I think that you know how to rhyme i just think you need to possibly expand to other original rhyme schemes but over all not bad

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deacon explain that what u mean by that im not takin offence to it i juss am not gettin your point, give an example

Alright this is not trying to change the peice-------------When you rhyme you tend to use the same participles at the end of each punch line---I think if you freshin up some of the structure and vocabulary choice you'll have a real nice piece--No hate man keep it up-- i think i might just be too damn picky possibly ignorant nah jokin about that--lol alright

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