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KEYSTYLE! A Climber's Passion
I awoke to poison and inprisoned upon the scars of my flesh-
compressed my soul by cold chains and the brains that mutter stress- gasping for breath my soul kept fighting, climbing to the top- the loft was the breeding grounds for thought but inside I was caught- I walked to the point of no return, burned from the light I yearned- learned that the light on the shelf was filled with pain permed with the air- I tried to grow wings to escape the hell that dwell, grounded by thin hairs- compared to the angels that swear their wings gleam, beam in pairs- I walked to the top of the peir, eagle eye visioned collision with my thoughts- well I thought I could escape but behind these eyes is the seat I bought... {style switch} I never know about my title bouts, never met myself in my whereabouts- I scream and shout, I keep on foot on the ground and care about my doubts- I visit infinity and frequently talk to reality to beg them why I am left with him- blame them for how the skimmed every ounce of limb of the body and it's rims- to a degree I fight and fee poundering the ideas of this man and how me hinders me- planting schemes on beds of dreams dread the theme of the reoccuring sheen- I can't imagine myself without a rope to climb to the top of this living life- time can blind around the mind, would I do it to escape again, I won't think twice.... love... |
kid this shits really well written and all.....jus i kept gettin lost on what u were sayin.......u got nice skills....jus the point kept losin me......first verse seems real poetic though
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this aint a key LOL the vocab is to big to be a key, if your really that good, id like to see something when you sit down and take the time to write. this was nice but i dont beleave it was a key
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actually man, this was a key, something like a fifteen minute free, but on a GENERAL TOPIC, but yeah most of the stuff I write is done without revising, so I consider that a key...
I should try that someday though, thanks for the reply man... love.. |
yea...Well, i'm here from another site...just looking at other sites...I am a very critical person...and here goes my two cents...
This was a very good piece...so obviously pre-written, so the good thing was that you were able to re-read, and edit. There's nothing worse than reading verses with mispelling and punctuation errors. This is raw emotion, and you let it flow nicely. Honestly, I would say this is on the more poetic side. I'm happy you're not writing like some of these fools here...guns, girls, money, fame...all the materialistic bullshit. I like this alot... I would quote some lines...but that would just flood this thread... OVERALL: tight piece, keep up...just give it your all. |
1 thing...Why flaunt it being a key? I don't get it...
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^ my job here is done!
thanks for the reply man, no I don't really care it is considered a key or not, that's just pointless, but thanks for the love.. love.. |
up we go into the wild blue yander!
love... |
Yea this was tight. why do people care so much whether it was a keystyle or not. Ya vocab was straight and ya topic though confusaing had sum tight imagery. maybe ya rhyme scheme sumtimes was a bit off or at least simplified. anyway this was tight
RETURN THE FAVOR AND CHECK MINE BANGKOK BUSINESS AIGHT ONE |
I THINK YOU HAVE A REMARKABLE TALENT KEEP FEEDING IT
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I Believe You Bro.... :D
This Isn't Exactly Tha Hardest Thing In Tha World To Key So Shoosh People..LmaO It Was Very Dope None Tha Less.. Always Keep Writing Bro UPPPPPPPPPP WEEEEEEEEEE GOOOOOOOOO |
lol@N-Demik
true, I don't care if it's keyed or not, thanks for the love man, it's apperciated...whens your key dropping by the way? love... |
nice spit rhombus,i got the topic straight off,like the loft part of the first verse,i thoguht maybe the scond verse was a little off the topic of the first,but maybe htats the way you wanted it i dont know,i dont know why people are on about the if its keyed or not shit,it dont matta,just coz you got som e nice vocab in there dont mean you cant write shit like that without having to go back,shit was tight rhombus,liked it alot..peep mey shit sometime in open mice...
bismillah |
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