im only a beginner- check this lil sumin
 

THIS AINT A BATTLE BUT ITS LOADED LIKE AMMUNITION
ITS LIKE IM ON A MISSION..ONE THAT NEEDS NO PERMISSION
U GOTTA LISTEN TO MA WORDS THEN YOU'LL SEE THE REAL ME
MA RHYMES ARE REAL..STRAPPED DOWN? MA WORDS CAN SET U FREE
ITS LIKE A MIRACLE THE WAY MY WORDS GET PROJETCED
U LIKE MY RHYMES SO MUCH U GOT EM' ALL COLLECTED
MOST TREASURED POSSESION..U GOT EM ALL PROTECTED
U JUST ENVIOUS..UR RHYMES AINT LIKE MINE COZ URS REJECTED
FOLLOW SO FAR? no? DIDNT THINK SO THIS RHYMES TANGLED
ITS LIKE A ROPE ROUND UR NECK MY WORDS LEAVE U STRANGLED
ONLY PROBLEM IS MY ROPES STRONG AND WONT LET LOOSE
UR THE UGLY DUCKLING IM THE KING GOOSE
BATTLE ME? U WANNA LOSE?
I DONT LEAVE U OPEN TO NO EXCUSE
IF U TOUGH ENOUGH...THEN SPIT UR STUFF
COZ ILL BATTLE ANYONE NO MATTER HOW MEAN OR ROUGH
THIS RHYME LEFT U TRIPPING LIKE I REMOVED THE RUG
PROMOTIN MY RHYMES AS THE NEW CLASS A DRUG
THESE RHYMES ARE SPIT WITH VENOM AS IF FROM A SNAKE
COULD BATTLE U ASLEEP AS EASY AS I COULD WHEN I'M AWAKE
SO ENOUGH SAID FOR NOW THIS IS THE LEVEL OF MY SKILL
ALL I NEED FOR NOW IS A NEW PAD AND PENCIL

uppin

c'mon i need feedback

YOU NEED SOME WORK BUT I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD READ YOUR PUNCHES WERENT AS GRAPHIC AS YOUR POTENTIAL SHOWS.
IT SEAMS THIS IS A NEW FIELD FOR YOU WHICH ISNT BAD YOU ARE OFF TO A GREAT START KEEP POSTING IN TIME YOU WILL HAVE IT DOWN PACKED

thx for replyin
 

appreciate the feedback man

HEY IM NOT THAT GOOD BUT IF YOU NEED HELP IM HERE

thx man



uppin'

keep posting jambo , youll soon have your shit locked down patt.we aiight for a first spit,don worry keep elevatin...peep my drop on the open mic boards...
bismillah