War Wounds
 

I did this a while ago, but it seems appropriate

As I run over top of the dead bodies of my own-comrades//
I think these were my brothers as screams moan-in-sonnets//
Gunfire's thrown-like-comets eruptin in fire all-around-me//
My conscience clouded by drugs my death tolls-astounding//
I fall-to-the-ground lungs about to burst enemy-on-my-trail//
My energy-has-failed but no my side is burning like hell-fire//
I felt-tired but I knew I had to escape before the blood swelled-higher//
Gazin-upward I see an AR pointed directly-in-my-face//
Raisin-I-stumbled into the line ready-to-take-my-place//
Marchin to what I knew would eventually be a sure-death//
I took short-steps as blood leaked out my side Im gasping for-breath//
They released the foreceps as we reached the camp and I was put-in-a-cage//
Burnin in the sun my body cooked-by-the-rays I found my wifes letter an took-a-page//
Havin nothin to write with I rememberd and looked down at my side//
Squealing in pain I reached in the wound and closed my eyes//
Searchin I pulled out the bullet with a scream//
The blood would be my ink and this living hell my theme//
Shaking uncontrolably I began to write my diary//
All they had told-me of glory and what I aspired-to-be//
Where had it left-me only sitting near the river-sticks//
All the propaganda had my head gassed what a bitter-trick//
Why hadnt I figured-it out now Im going to die here-alone//
the government promised figures-quick but my corpse wont get anywhere near-home//
So I'll bury this page and mabye somehow itll get back to my loved-ones//
I know now I was-dumb dont fight for any country thats how my life was undone//

Any crit is appreciated...

peace

Uppin'

that was fuckin tight...i liked the rhyme scheme and the topic was great...i'ma fan of that war type rhymes, but you took it from a different perspective....uppin this peace...one

Thanx Dawg, Much Appreciated...

Up Up n Away

it was a dope peice