Feed Back Needed, ill return the favor
 

just spittin some shit right now, i dont even know what its gonna be about yet hahahah

i lookin in the mirror, overwhelmed with fear,
after 12 years, the final stretch is near,
i ask all my peers, what direction to steer,
my goals are mirages, reached n they dissapear,
i stuck with no plans, a distraught man,
sick of played out lines, sayin believe and u can,
well then gimmi a hand, lead me to this promiced land,
im scared of the future, might fail my last exam,
just to stay back, i aint ready to leave that,
life that i lead at, a school i succeed at,
parents will pleed that, i should believe crap,
sayin ill figure it out, but do they really mean that,
what if i dont, what will i be?
poor like my dad tryin to raise a family,
plan is faulty, im a wonderin adult see,
lost in the future, what will the result be,
my own reflection is startin to insult me,
sarcasticly askin where the fuck i'll(all) be,
sparaticly attackin me, i can hear my future calling,
i spit back, with rhymes thats wack, spittin this rap,
when im not even black, is that what i lack,
something to cling to, to help me relax,
but im payin a tax, cuz the attention it attracts,
takes away from the focus i should be putting on tasks,
to help me elevate, to heavens gate,
ask God for guidence cuz right now i cant wait,
2 more months till the coddling ends,
12 years of evolving with friends,
socially solving problems,
but now thats halting intents,
if i dont decide soon ill be stuck with appaling parents,
and paying them rent, to live in a house that 18 years ive spent,
it just doesnt make sense,
the sequence of events,
that have left me straddling lifes metaforical fence,
of who struggles and who makes dollars and cents....

shit what does ramblin on solve,
nothin. ive prob already missed my call,
but ima keep fightin for my future and stall,
povertys attempts to catch me....

meh i guess thats about my pending graduation hit me up with tonsa critisism

"stuck with no plans, a distraught man,
sick of played out lines, sayin believe and u can,"

love those lines
im close to that point to, its a scary time man
u depicted that feeling perfectly
i lost the flow only maybe a couple of times
but no biggy

PS peep my "Foresaken Emcee" or "The Lonely Mic"
thx

very nice shit man , keep it strong dawg

only got 2 hits so im upupuppin
thanx for the feed back hooligan and blaze

you killed dat shyt dawg!!!!!!!
much luv for the lyrikal khats from me.
keep rhymin dawg i felt dat shyt fareal.

yea that was good shit keep blessin it.. kid

up again
thanx for ne feedback ill check urs if u check mine

was a tight peice caspah,i know exactly how you feel with that,great flow fo rthe most half,fell off maybe once or twice i felt but picked up agian so easily.

shit what does ramblin on solve,
nothin. ive prob already missed my call,
but ima keep fightin for my future and stall,
povertys attempts to catch me....


liked the ending

spittin this rap,
when im not even black, is that what i lack,

i felt ya on these lines,cats say they aint hating on you for racial terms but foreal,you aint they colour they gonna hat eyou no doubt unless you loaded with cash foreal.shits weak as all hell,but thats all there is.


of who struggles and who makes dollars and cents....

shit mad ture nahmean,some cats got it easy and some got it way to hard,then you got the pressure to be successful and if you aint your bound to feel close to nothing...dark world...


the sequence of events,
that have left me straddling lifes metaforical fence,

those lines were tight...

im out on this cat,shit was tight,peep my spit directions nahmean,see if you can make anysense of the shit haha,tell me wha tyou got from it,cats is sleepin on it foreal,dunno why though.but sall good...
propz

bismillah

ye thanx for the great feedback atetrack
ima up it one final time see what i get hten ill let it go
thanx for all the feedback

pretty simple but then again im still sort of into it
your head is in the right place
just advance that scheme
and get your rhyms to light up whatever you put them to
you will do fine
now read my shit

-BMUSE

elevate

even though i cant relate,
i still think it was a tight piece