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N-Demik 04-21-03 11:45 AM

Sole Souls
 
N-Demik
Melancholy Sun

Tha Spirit Of A Good Man Withers Inside Of His Kingdom
Constructing A Plot Of Enactment But Hiding From Visions
A Siren Of Prisons Is Collected In Tha Ears Of Foreign Bodies
Who Wander Streets With No Aim, I Guess Theres No Change...?
No Claim To Fame, Lingers Around Tha Sulcuss Of No-Hopers
Mold's Broken, Lateral Motions Frozen All Except Sulking
In This Abhorrent Globe Of Souls, No-One Takes Control
Tha Reins Slide From Delusional Hands Of Callous Molds
Shadow's Fold And Discintegrate, Is This Damn Sin Fate
Cling States Are Reset Trying To Correct This Binge Rate
That Chronical Pointlessness Caress's With An Iron Claw
Nightmares Store This Exacerbate Created Through Tyrant Paws

Critical Conclusions Are Never Tuned To, Theres A Few Who
Actually Use Their Minds For Positive Privilege, Imperitive
To Venture This New Demure Feeling Im Now Experiencing
Fear Of Sin Pierces Me Like Tha Arrow Head Of An Inferior Twin
My Exterior Skin Protects No Psyche, I Don't Perceive Mighty
Fuck Civil Society, I Never Set Out To Achieve Propriety
My Sight Of See Is Clouded, My Voice Evades When Shouting
As If Tha Moment Of Being Crowded Just Before You Say Nothing
Im Late For Something But Impeded But This Divine Fountain
Thats Spouting A Whole Spectrum Of Colors That Im Counting
Tha Experiment Ended At Tha Count Of 13 Between Black & Blue
Im Just Tha Lonely One Sax Band Jazzman Thats Lacking Tune

My Ship's Remote From Being Wrecked, But Still All Y'all Left
Jumped Tha Boat Believing I Had Direction And Was Heaven Sent
But Never Forget If I Had Tha Power To Resurrect, Id Pay My Debt
Stake My Breaths, In This Adaptation Of Life Im Playing Death
Breaking Sweats, Because Believe This Figure Is Tough As Steel
Might Be Proximate To Tha Underground But Damn Im Stuck In Hell
Im Tha Only One In This Que, Yet Not Even Surrounded By You
But Then What Am I Waiting For? Is My Life A Confusion Too?
I Absorb Tha Vision Of Tha Crescent Moon And Use It As Guidance
Use It To Light Tha Path On My Way To Tha Institution Of Violence
Im Useless I Should Try Less, My Thought Pilots Tha Thin Air
"Hey Bro Im Way Past Rock Bottom"
Yea....Ive Been There
Me, Myself And I Are All Trying To Patch Up Our Disagreement
I Never Triumphed, I Can't Even Say That I Miss Achievments
Im In Quaters Like Tha Seaons, Breathing For My Last Breath
Ask Left, I Was Never Ever Right To Proceed Into This Vast Quest
We're Just Sole Souls Walking Discreet Roads Alone And Empty
We've Been Alone For Centuries, Don't Even Mention Me....Please

caspah 04-21-03 12:25 PM

never fails, u always drop somthin with mad flow and metas and subject that 90% of every 1 here will never understand
i like it, i think it really shows off ur skill, not just ur vocab, but ur ability to make great metaphores.
the only thing is, i had to read this about 10 times till i was satisfied i figured out what u were trying to say. ur rhymes would be great for an english class to disect and try and figure out, but as for a rap song, i think its over too many ppl's heads. if u came with something more...raw... next time, somthin that just goes to the point and is exactly what u think str8 from tha heart that every1 here can feel, then ud have a lot of ppl flabbergasted by tha power of ur rhymes.
just a thought

MuhThugga 04-21-03 12:26 PM

Wonderful piece. Everything was present: flow, rhyme scheme, structure, execution. Everything was well done, and I must applaud you for that. Hats off to you.

"Tha Spirit Of A Good Man Withers Inside Of His Kingdom
Constructing A Plot Of Enactment But Hiding From Visions
A Siren Of Prisons Is Collected In Tha Ears Of Foreign Bodies
Who Wander Streets With No Aim, I Guess Theres No Change...?
No Claim To Fame, Lingers Around Tha Sulcuss Of No-Hopers
Mold's Broken, Lateral Motions Frozen All Except Sulking"
^^^Wonderful imagery. Everything just flowed together. What a perfect opener. I don't think I could ever write an opener as well as you did.

"My Sight Of See Is Clouded, My Voice Evades When Shouting
As If Tha Moment Of Being Crowded Just Before You Say Nothing
Im Late For Something But Impeded But This Divine Fountain
Thats Spouting A Whole Spectrum Of Colors That Im Counting
Tha Experiment Ended At Tha Count Of 13 Between Black & Blue
Im Just Tha Lonely One Sax Band Jazzman Thats Lacking Tune "
^^^ This was my favorite part of the whole piece. I don't know why, it just stuck out to me. Again the flow is impeccable here(and thruout) and I just loved this segment.


"But Never Forget If I Had Tha Power To Resurrect, Id Pay My Debt
Stake My Breaths, In This Adaptation Of Life Im Playing Death"
^^^ So here you seem to be stating you are some sort of Antagonist? maybe the Anti-Hero?

All in all, a wonderful, well-writtened piece. I enjoy ever last word of it. Thnk you for such a good read and I will continue to look for more of your works.

Narcicyst 04-22-03 04:40 AM

everythin this kat drops is illness namsayin...again N-Demik hats off dunny...nice complex verbals to a lovely rhyme scheme to an amazing topic...hot shit like curry excrement...wahid

Atetrack define' 04-22-03 09:38 AM

nice nice spit n-demik keepin the level f quality constant from you nahmean,ill drop felt wha tyou were sayin nahmean

Tha Spirit Of A Good Man Withers Inside Of His Kingdom
Constructing A Plot Of Enactment But Hiding From Visions

ill.

check my spit directions if you get the chance cat,im lookin for decent copmments nahmean


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