[6] fgee vs [8] Dirtboy69
 

Check In By.... Friday
Post By.... Sunday
Vote By....Tuesday


Topic

Suicide in your sleep

cheque in........win out,,,,,,,,,,

checkin in

a long party i'm too tired, i fall into a sleep too deep/
psycotic thoughts and vivid nightmares of suicide in my sleep/
ironic thought, " that would be some what of a feat/
after all that i've beat and then sent off to retreat/
the simple thought frightens me lost because of self defeat/
past events and gaintic woes now i face my biggest foe/
wake up or is it a dream a dark room where do i go/
a right turn past the door and i think i hear a scream/
what a burn my girl with some one else this must be a dream/
i run into the room and start throwing punches at this guy/
he ducks pulls a knife and then lunging it deep into my thigh/
i back off in agony and yell "i'll kill you before i ever die!!"/
my vision's blurring and the pain is causing me a headache/
i don't know if it's real but he's dead even if this is fake/
i turn and face him again this time it's the barrel of a gun/
i try and move and/or duck but at this range it takes only one/
the cops show up later that night at my house and see me/
they say it was suicide there was no one here it was just me/
did i pull the trigger on my self during this last time i slept?/
or was the dream so real that the bullet that i caught, i kept/


i was in a rush and i don't know the no show rate in this legue is high so i'll win anyway

Suicide in my sleep;

collapsing on my bed the world of dread runs through my head/
thoughts weigh heavy like lead an exhausted mind empty of living but full of dead.......mental scars ripped open as tears turn red, draining the strength from my body as wounds are bled

the world seems so cruel and offers no respite, every path appearing blocked might as well give up the fight/
days of innocence left behind i only see the night, clouds loom overhead blocking out rays of light, and dissapearing just as i catch sight

the back ground music fades into meaningless speech, similar to my existence thoughts skip to the beats, wandering astray negative overcomes positive inflicting defeats, wishing i could exchange this body for better and throw away the receipt

misery compounded by rejection in music, when they ripped up the contract i turned to alcohol and abused it, money drank away and rehab couldnt make me quit, turning to extreme ways to relieve the pain life became illegit, now it's suicide i want to commit

in a state of sickness i reach for my pills, down the gullet it fills a gap and spills into my blood stream hidden emotions it conceals
gradually time slows down and the room appears sureal, entering this ordeal which will return in the morning a monster revealed

pupils dilate one last time before sleep, finally i can escape reality and relax from consciousness in one leap, head slumps into the sheets head becomes sweaty dripping beads, internally my heart is blocked no longer bleeds, killing me softly resulting from my addictive needs

18 years of life sacrificed all in the feeble hope of a happier afterlife, as blood congeals in the veins my remains turn white
eyes closed......they found my body decomposed accidental suicide from an over dose

Newspaper Column;

After 2 weeks the corpse of a local man were found
Now the remains are buried at the cemetery burial ground
Apparently the unknown male living on his own OD'd on pills
Police say his body was unrecognisable and are studying photo stills
It is assumed he mistook the drugs for his medication
*But u and i know he purposely swallowed his final destination*

both verses are up. so let's get some votes

some votes in here?

I'm givin' this to fgee.. damn yo, you ripped it.. way more complexity, and it flowed better from the first line to the last..

"misery compounded by rejection in music, when they ripped up the contract i turned to alcohol and abused it,"... I liked that line...

DirtBoy, dawg, your shit hardly flowed, the vocab and wordplay were minimal at best... your best line was:
"i back off in agony and yell "i'll kill you before i ever die!!"/
my vision's blurring and the pain is causing me a headache/
i don't know if it's real but he's dead even if this is fake/"... it's a couple lines, but the best of the whole verse.. you need to elevate alot more.. it kinda sucks that they stuck you with fgee, 'cause he's got mad skills anyway.. lol.. luck of the draw I guess.. peace

next week's battles are suppose to go up today and this battle's got no votes!!!! come on now

This was very hard to choose from being that both were very touching stories.. and also can happen in real life. Those are the best type of poems that are out there.
For overall vocabualry: Fgee
Best Insight: Fgee
Best Story overall: Dirty Boy
Metaphors: Fgee
Following the subject : Dirty Boy, Fgee you didn't take the suicide in your sleep subject.. you mainly had suicide

but my vote goes to Fgee.. he had alot more to his than Dirty Boy did

it was suicide in my sleep cos he took the pills and killed himself while sleeping....but thanks for the vote

damn, talk aboutsleeping

This wasn't a very good battle... fgee mainly just murdered Dirtyboy. fgee had pretty much everything Dirtboy had and then everything he didn't...

Vote- fgee

pz

I give that round to dirtboy, wanna know why?

i turn and face him again this time it's the barrel of a gun/
i try and move and/or duck but at this range it takes only one/
the cops show up later that night at my house and see me/
they say it was suicide there was no one here it was just me/
did i pull the trigger on my self during this last time i slept?/
or was the dream so real that the bullet that i caught, i kept/

Thats some real deep shit dawg, my vote goes to Dirtboy

so ah when are battles over??? any guesses

Fgee wins....