[3] Sand vs [4] Ill Mental
 

Check In By.... Friday
Post By.... Sunday
Vote By....Tuesday


Topic

searching deep within

damn, i got some good luck, i get the poetry champ in my second round of my first tourney, checkin in tho

i am ALWAYS here. so let me check in

check it out now....

jack is a famous writer. he writes lots of novels.
ideas come from outside. his pen just follows.
the meanings are hollow. they arent true life.
so he searches himself. to see what truths like.

as a kid jack had nothing his family was poor.
so he wrote all day leaping to a land of lore.
fiction hit him and he finally found ways to explore.
and ingenious symptoms led him to the core.
of his own heart and his writings had emotion.
we wrote from himself his mind was spoken.
he showed his heart with a pen and never ceased.
and the emotion ran through his words like disease.
he pleased any one who read his deep words.
while he reached those who had deep wounds.
to their soul and this went on until the day came.
that day when souls perish in this old game.
life. changed the day his father came home.
drunk as fuck in a violent and raging zone.
and he took his fist and cracked jacks skull.
and then jack didnt write from his heart no more.

so tonight jack returned to that desolate night.
with a plan to ignore fright and just write.
so he did for a while about that time he was ten.
and he searched in his heart some more....
only this time with his pen

jack killed himself.

ok my post is goin up soon

the day my father died, i was mad to the highest degree\\
i hated the world and god, why'd they have ta take him from me?\\
he was my best friend, the only person in my world\\
but now im all alone, and im laying in the street curled\\
i have nowhere to go, going home will bring too much sorrow\\
i cant deal with my mom's shit right now, i'll blow like killamanjaro\\
all i wanted was to see him, just so i could say goodbye\\
cause when he died we were fighting, we werent seeing eye to eye\\
i still remember my last words to him, they were the worst i ever said\\
he told me i was immature, i said i wished he was dead\\
i hope he knows i didnt mean it, thats the last thing that i wanted\\
now i cant go to sleep, cause all my dreams are haunted\\
as much as i didnt want to, i told my mom everything i felt\\
she told me to go to church, she said that they could help\\
but now im here at church, they got me searching deep within\\
the only reason i can think of him dying, is because of all my sin\\
its like when jesus died, for all the people that forgot\\
my father died the same way, instead of me, he got shot\\
it wasnt supposed to happen, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time\\
i had beef with the guy who shot him, the bullet was 'post ta be mine\\
the guy who shot my father, was sentance to life in prison\\
they say its a fate far worse than death, but i think it isn't\\
all this searchin deep within, got me to move on with my life\\
now i got 2 kids, they're daughters, and a beatufal wife\\
i try to be the best dad for them, like my father taught me to be\\
the told me when i was little, "your a smaller reflection of me"\\
i take those words to heart, cause hes the best person ive ever met\\
its really hard to think of him, without getting myself upset\\
i miss my dad so much, but one day i'll see him again\\
he still lives on in a way, because his blood runs thru my veins\\

may the best flow win, uppin

Yo I'm votin Ill-Mental because he developed the character a lot more then Sand did, don't get me wrong, but I believed more in his story, (probably cause it was first person) so that's my opinion.

Vote= Ill-Mental

Yo come peep my shit, it's the three way battle, if they decide to post.

ok 1 - 0 uppin

damn. i am losing
like normally

Lemme Turn This Around....:D


iLL-Mental, U'r Shit Was Mad Tight.....I'll Give U That.....But I Am Going To Have To Give It To Sand.....Just Because U Rocked The Stretched Bar Style, Does Not Mean U Took This At All.........Vote=Sand
Had

Reasons:
He Expressed More Through Shorter Bars.......He Had Better Wordplay In My Opinion........Ill, Don't Get Me Wrong, U Had A Dope Verse, But I Opened Up To Sand's More.....

Fav, Lines

Sand:

and he took his fist and cracked jacks skull.
and then jack didnt write from his heart no more.
so tonight jack returned to that desolate night.
with a plan to ignore fright and just write.
so he did for a while about that time he was ten.
and he searched in his heart some more....
only this time with his pen

jack killed himself


^That Shit Was Mad Deep^


So....Vote=Sand

ok 1-1 uppin

1-1 up

im sorry I cant decide but if it helps you both rocked the mic aka key board

Sand Took This Simply With Originality..

None Played The Topic Out To Nice ..

I was Hoping For More Metaphores, But None
Seemed To Prevail ..

Sand Has A Nice Style . Which Made His Flow
Seem Much Smoother Then Mentals..

Mental Had A UnOriginal Story Line That got
Me Bored After The First Few Lines ..

Sand Wins..