"Hunger" By Killa Kobra
 

Its SomeThin me n ma homie wrote well he wrote it n i re-wrote it

Ingnite the flame
Look into the fire from where i became
Stare at the blaze n start the life game
Dont let anybody put ya name to shame
Never lock yaself in solitary confinment
Keep ya head held high usin' mental re-alignment
Remember life can never be in precision
Always put yaself in life's elite division
When you look in the mirror n see your reflection
Dont prey to God n ask for redemtion
Bow ya head close ya eyes n fantasize bout a world of protection
But a life like this can never be perfected
Cuz Gods syringe was injected n infected
With an overdose of pain failure, pain n sorrow
Askin' will I end this day or even tomorrow
Then shout to the heavens above askin "why do this to me"
Wonderin' if i'l ever get a muh fuckin opportunity
Make changes n re-arranges n one day your chance will come
Everything will start to add up like a mathmatical sum
Dont think of what you were but what you'll become
Be what ya wanna be see what ya wanna see
Believe what you wanna believe acheive what you wanna acheive
Capture ya dreams n if in like theres somethin' ya wanna get
Get it otherwise later in life you'll forget n regret
Playin life like a game of solitaire
Beware n take care
Otherwise you'll be led into the darkness of satan's lair
So in other words dont jus stand n stare

Thats the first verse what do you think? Comments/ Feedback appriciated Question will be answered

Thanks

this decent

decent in the way u had vocab and complex rhymes for some parts

but had no flow

ya lines were too short and they werent an even length to get a good flow

keep elevating pz

thanks man for the feedback uppin'

meh.. nothin' real special, there wasn't really a topic, "hunger".. why is it called that.. ne-way, your vocab and shit were good, I agree with NH "it had no flow".. it was descent, but you need to learn to ride a specific topic not just yammer on about useless shit.. no beef, just constructive criticism.. peace

its about hunger for life hunger to go for what you really want out of life really

actually now that I read over it again I can pick up on a flow.. but the hunger thing still makes no sense to me.. your mainly giving advice to "stick with it" and "stay on top like I am" when you are the one in need of the advice, it's like a self help script.. I dunno, It's a'ight but not spectacular..

thanks uppin for feedback

wasnt that good, u coulda dun way better then that man

I've seen better from you but this was decent for what it was...

maybe sound better as an audio... it had flow though.. kinda fell off at times..... i'd like to see some more from you...