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-   -   The light (Quick poem) (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=44728)

Bazzy 05-07-03 04:25 PM

The light (Quick poem)
 
Heres a quick poem I wrote in school in a matter of bout 3 minutes
Any feedback wanted


The days fly-by makin me wish I could rewind time//
Like Im standing on two mines set to go off in my mind//

Im about to explode on my life,a road to predition//
And I cant find any answers,like the code of competition//

I feel like Im fighting death,and the light is blinding my eyes//
And I cant find the time to re-reign and back-up rise//

So I give-up,time is up,Im finished at last//
And what once was a "present" to the Earth,is now in the past//


The rhyming is anything but great but...no matter how crap you think it is.....it still has meaning...any feedback is wanted
PZZ

Mad Man 05-07-03 04:50 PM

I like it, I think you should feed off it, and go farter and deeper into it, good start, yo could you peep my shit, What's it for?, Thanks man!

Bazzy 05-07-03 04:51 PM

^^Ya I might go further into it if I get some more feedback^^
Depends what feedback I get
PZZ


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