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"The Last Time" - Simple But Deep
The Last Time...
[intro] Yo, have you ever though you might get a last time at something...i have, and this is it... [verse one] I wake up one morning, sun shining my eyes blinded, Curtains closed yet visions of yesterday being rewinded// Visions of a peaceful day, not a cloud in the sky to note, Yet not a highight in my life to brag about or even gloat// Then i got up, got muh clothes on and left for tha town, Meetin muh holmes from 15 suburbs, i got em all around// Then a near death experience hit me, the car missed me, my life shown before my eyes like some kinda dramas in me// I saw my first look at the earth, my eyes watering with joy, Muh first birthday and family occasion, muh first cake and first toy// I saw muh first bike and first party, muh first friends at muh first school, muh first time i shined out, first time i was classed cool// the first time i had sex, the first time i smoked weed, the first time i got so stoned, i could let alone see nor write or read// the first time i stabbed someone, grabbed agun and pointed at another, the first time i had the uger to pulla trigga and poppa brother// the first time i been arrested, my first friend been child mollested, the first time i beat her father, the first time i been truly tested// the first time i shed tears of joy, and tears of hate too, tears of love for that one girl, the girl id give muh life too... [chorus] But if it was the last time, would i be proud of the life i lived till now, would i have given up half way through, dropepd muh head and threw the towel, could i have lived through anger and pain, grief and every day nothing but hate, makes you think about the last time, tha last time, tha last time you got to say... [verse two] The last time i told muh girl i loved her, she said i was special i said i knew, she said my ego was too ahead of me, and left me outta the blue// the last time i seen a basketball game, or played one with muh boys, the last time i given somethin back to the public, given homeless kids food or toys// the last time i smoked a blunt or joint, sold oregano to a dipshit, given orders to a friend or been in a fight with each punch a mis-hit// The last time i bent barriers to new goals, and uncovered new stages of me with old ones dark as coal// the last time i grasped a mic and tried to spit nothin but my hardest, them come up chokin and hearing nothin but laughter// the last time i looked on the positive side of life and acted optimistic, then again, ive never been happy and always gone ballistic... [chorus2] But if it was the last time, would i be proud of the life i lived till now, would i have given up half way through, dropepd muh head and threw the towel, could i have lived through a meaningless life, growing up as a bum with no hope for kids and a wife , makes you think about the last time, tha last time, tha last time you got to cry.... The last time i was so open to myself i shed tears, i covered my face from the people and screamed while tehy covered there ears// The last time i let out anger on someone i loved, then apologised and cried kissed made up and hugged// The last time i did something causing a physical endangerment to a person, every time i do that is juss another lesson im learning// the last time i let my emotions go like this so vividly, and let people see the real me and not the empty side of me individually... [end Chorus] So you see, life is a treasure and without it your justa less of a man, and u may think your insignificant, just another grain of sand, but u gotta look past opinions and people hating, because you are who you are, in your own way special and theres no debating that..... |
i liked this chibs,i thoguht maybe a couple of the lines and shit didnt rhyme and shit,but thats all good i do the same thing,shit dont have to rhyme if you getting your point across nahmean,where is australia you at?...keep postin gi liked it
peep mine dun...i got two at the moment |
yo u was correct that piece was deep, guess u been thru a lot in yo life, i like it how u did the first verse like frist time this first time that...andt the second one was abot doin everythin for the last time..........yo umm the last chorus is actually called an outro (not disrespecting ya)........that was deep but cats need to stop sleepin on ill drops
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dont i feel you on the sleepin on ill drops....sick of sleeping....maybe its jsut laziness coz they dont want to read my shit coz its long....i dunno anythign thats longer then a shitty keystyle seems to get slept on...but yer i just noticed that trill,the end chorus is an outro...or even a bridge if you wanna get technical ahhahaha.im jus playin,i got no idea about what music names and shit are so i wouidnt know,good lookin
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Ayo thanx for tha replies...
I didnt only write this song for me but for others to relate 2... ~1~ |
This was some Ill shit.....................you should drop some more open mics
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I liked this verse because it had a nice consistency. Each line started the same as the one before it, but related an experiance so different you'd think it belonged in a different piece, but it still fit. You need to work on multis, and there was really no wordplay in this that I saw, so consider elevating that.
Good work, check out either of my pieces(preferably the second one) the links are in my sig. One |
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