RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Lost (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=47618)

Profound_unique1 05-16-03 09:48 PM

Lost
 
I dont know what to do
I dont know where to turn
with every mistake
there is a new lesson learned

Free fall from a space void of light
into a darker abyss
this is my plight
Standing lifeless on a plateau
surrounded by hells fire
as for hope I have none
my heart is tied with barbed wire
I crawl on through the darkness
escaping the fire through repent
each plateau I reach
has an even more gruesome decent
though my heart becomes more ravished
the closer I get to my goal
my mind becomes more clearer
but I need them both to be whole
I got to hold on
ive got to stay strong
one day I will be free
but will I still be me?

Profound_unique1 05-16-03 09:49 PM

eh I got distracted. ..

Lab Rat 05-17-03 02:29 AM

you got distracted? that mean you gonna add onto that or is it as-is? its pretty good anyways

OpTiKaL iLuZion 05-17-03 03:50 AM

nice sonnet

Profound_unique1 05-17-03 12:20 PM

I lost my focus when my phone rang, not exactly how I was readin it inside. But thank you.

Legendary 05-17-03 12:58 PM

It was really good. Not much else to say about it. I'd quote my fav lines but I liked the whole thing.

Profound_unique1 05-18-03 11:29 PM

Why thank you, I appreciate it =)

IdunKnoHow2Rap04 05-18-03 11:46 PM

*smile* hey baby, Muah, it was good even though im still upset about the fact that u can rap and i cant..smh...I love you yo(cdfu)

Phantasia 05-19-03 09:21 PM

D I wish you would tell me when you postin J/K liked it chick! It was way betta thanthe last one waaaaayyyy bettea!! Any who thanks for havin my back and I liked your up-do it was cute lol!

your_end 05-20-03 01:44 AM

i think tha whole vibe was beautiful, i can tell this is from deep within, ya word usage was meaningful for the poem.... everything was just set in... loving it... very nice...

Profound_unique1 05-20-03 09:08 PM

* cheezin hard *, why thank you = )

deacon 05-20-03 09:40 PM

Poem had it moments but was filled with a typical rhyme scheme. Many people who approach that type of written fail because they tend to be either to basic or too obvious.You rode the line on this one. Keep writing i can see your movement up is not just a figment of my imagination.

-1-

Profound_unique1 05-20-03 11:15 PM

* blushing *


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:04 AM.