RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Dagger (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=47843)

MuhThugga 05-17-03 09:18 PM

Dagger
 
Mission logistics escaped their cerebrum prison, civilian killing program’s military forbade
I lived long enough to execute survivalist tactics, abandonment issues with the basics
Irony details the plastic handle, five-limb weapon extension, and reinforced Juxtaposition blade
Two-face, a portrait Charlie has already painted, a clean slate needs my blood to stain it
I keep the sun under my helmet and the moon on a belt clip, and Love’s picture in a distant promise
SafeReturns forgot Hope. Stealth fighting ComeBacks won’t even blip a symbol detect
Death Guerrilla hand-gripped dagger, Fear grips blood-thirsty projectiles, sweet Kamikaze conscience
My pistol breathes Death. I throw stones and drop bombs just to compare ripple effects
A sleeping cadaver in a bag, military unit mass grave slumbers found underground pincushions
Remove some and lose one, let’s use God’s life-taking techniques with an upward thrust
Fear equilibrium nights, dagger-owner’s throat betrayal slice; Reality took my dream and Sin shook him
NeverLeave friends, and NeverEnd loves; nothing to lose Poker: no hand and a poor bluff
Tree canopy jungle entrapment, Satan’s ritualistic patrons surrounding, unseen shadows play tricks
Irony villager innocence statement, last resort action: unsheathe fear, let my wrist feel the blade’s kiss

MuhThugga 05-17-03 09:21 PM

And this is a Shakespearean sonnet format, I had to write it for English class. So don't tell me it doesn't rhyme, because it does.

MuhThugga 05-18-03 10:02 PM

Sigh...upping.....

MuhThugga 05-20-03 05:30 PM

Up, up and awaaaaaaaaaaay.......

Legendary 05-20-03 05:45 PM

This was a good writing. I should have read it sooner. It flowed real well and I liked the way it rhymed. The content was good too.

"I lived long enough to execute survivalist tactics, abandonment issues with the basics
Irony details the plastic handle, five-limb weapon extension, and reinforced Juxtaposition blade
Two-face, a portrait Charlie has already painted, a clean slate needs my blood to stain it
I keep the sun under my helmet and the moon on a belt clip, and Love’s picture in a distant promise"

That is what I liked the most out of it. Nice post.

MuhThugga 05-20-03 10:39 PM

Thank you

MuhThugga 05-21-03 04:16 PM

Should I use my invisibility for good or evil?

Tourniquet 05-22-03 02:21 AM

Evil of course :)

I like how you have utilised an (lets face it) ancient genre of writing and yanked it into contemporary times, kind of blasted it at us with such open violence.. I liked that.. most sonnets I read today are written almost as if they are censored, or softened for the reader, even though Shakespeare himself didn't write them that way.. (when read in context to his times)..
Well done, I myself have never attempted it , but I imagine writing in this style could be rather difficult, as it would set certain limitations..
As for the rhyming.. bah, none of my stuff rhymes, never has.. It doesn't have to rhyme to be poetry, poetry is beautiful because it's free and individual..so I've never been able to understand why some people limit the way it should be expressed.
Sometimes, even silence can be poetry :)

MuhThugga 05-22-03 09:24 PM

That's true...... it's not really that hard. Just kind of have to remember the very next line can't rhyme until the last couplet.

MuhThugga 05-31-03 09:58 PM

I won't let this one fade off that easily.....I want critique

Noiz 05-31-03 10:49 PM

That Was Real Deep...Advanced, Vocabulary Intensing The Situation, A Great Piece, Shits Legendary....


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:42 AM.