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-   -   ..::jaded::.. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=48843)

Dadi Kewl 05-21-03 07:42 AM

..::jaded::..feeback.plz
 
Pen in hand apacalyptic times scripted now//
Hyrogryphs shown the histories written down//
Paroahs and gold building tempels of warship//
Pushing men threw pyshical, mental hardships//
Chain gange relations the start of wars to come//
The relationship all leads to the reached whores son//
The worst hath past with sails set to catch winds//
Where men and hammers with rocks are best friends//
Chizzeling out idols to whom the poor pray for reliefe//
All that seems left to the people, a freigh disbeliefe//
Ships have left port down river with no sign of return//
And deep inside is where the men who are blind will burn//
feelings of dispare and hoplessness falls hard to the heart//
As you watch men whom you loved with bodies on the cart//
tossed overboard to loose the dead weight of carcuses//
Slave ships have now turned themselfs to marxisms//
Poor getting poorer as the rich slowly kill unwanted property//
A revolution scatterd secerets for those brace enough to speak it//
So carful that hidden codes created so they no one leaks it//
Underground tunnels built to the skies north of hells own land//
Reavealing pressure on goverments as they enter a bone scan//
Turning up suppression of men and women whom are human//
And deep inside her, this wonderful bitches womb is yearing//
Wanting a healthy child yet, America this women is full of hate//
Spread wide her legs are yet just another colonial rape//
A new nation for individuals to gain power of the weak souls//
Centuries pass as presidents press for good weekly polls//
Hypocritical masses observe the plantation of good vibes//
But in the end, the rats come out just like the hood lies//
This nation, built for freedom of all men created in gods vision//
Yet we still suppress all of those who differ, so what am i missin?//
Tell me where i didnt see the big picture of what life is realy like//
This double edge sword follows histories path to the tips knife//
Stabing ourselves in bloody rebelion only to become the hated//
Funny, but within 2 towers and liberty, we have all become jaded...



feedback..............

Dadi Kewl 05-21-03 08:57 AM

Uppin this c'mon someone gimme some feeback
i' proud of this piece an i anna see what yall think.

Saladin 05-21-03 09:43 AM

ILLnes fam..
This was deep...
I would quote some lines...
but that would be pointless,
cause it was all dope...

feeling this line the MOST..

A revolution scatterd secerets for those brace enough to speak it//
So carful that hidden codes created so they no one leaks it//
Underground tunnels built to the skies north of hells own land//
Reavealing pressure on goverments as they enter a bone scan//

Whoa!! lol

stay up playa..

peace
-1-

WORD~PERFECT 05-21-03 09:44 AM

tight joint pound i was feeling it

Dadi Kewl 05-21-03 04:55 PM

Uppin

Bash 05-21-03 05:20 PM

Illllllllllllll straight up Ill , ,, tha Illest shit i have read all day....

~RuThLEss~ 05-21-03 06:15 PM

Yo damn this wus nice contend dawg...and i felt that there wus some kinda vibe wus going through the whole flow.......sickness fosho Fam

Quik-$pit 05-21-03 06:56 PM

I agree totaly with Ruthless

Nuttin but deepness dawg

This shit was really good i read it twice just so i understood it properly ...

Keep up the good shit dawg ...

>><<...:::1:::...>><<

Pz,

Check Out My Freestyle in Open Mic... (True Love ! ! ! )

Pz

GridLock 05-21-03 07:04 PM

Lyrically geniusly designed..

Flowin like a river.. dope shit

caspah 05-21-03 07:25 PM

thats tha shit right there when u take an easy rhyme scheme and let ur story tellin abilitys and vocab and imagery and content and who mental arsenal make tha rhyme
that was good shit son

hit up my one for tha woman will ya

A2Z 05-21-03 07:40 PM

i liked it... but maybe its just me or was i the only one seeing the same shit as the last verse of "I Can" by Nas... the one with the history of black folks.... this was betta im just saying i felt that same kind shit

keep em coming

(peep my battle against Constant)

InFiNiTe_22 05-21-03 07:55 PM

.....a yo unbelivably ill.....tight ass drop....fo real....much respect

Dadi Kewl 05-22-03 07:49 AM

Uppin Thanx fo da feed back yall

much appreciated


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