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-   -   The Mind Is My Prison (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=49090)

N-Demik 05-21-03 10:06 PM

The Mind Is My Prison
 
sprouting misery consumes my head as its personal edifice
a peasants gift thrown into the wind of the present tense
past seconds of question's where the flow tries meandering
communication barrier's as the crow flies heavily angling
possibly landing in a whole heap of imbecile persecution
fate is handling my exertion on the control's, im learning purpose
my worded version is from perspective's unknown to prosaics
with the shoe on the adjacent foot, im still a broken mosaic
that was neighbour to the wall with writing on, sig of the ancients
now unethical grammar erasers change it above statuses desecrated
an agents kiss doesn't wake this blank void animating lonely
trying to reach the good books of the fantasies shown to me
mechanical senses oscillate quite like the greed of boring men
but im snagged on the cogs within, for three score and ten
trying to cypher with my other personalities isn't no ABC
now the walls not lending me their ears is easily breaking me
a seasonal vacancy- me maintaing this status quo in equillibrium
my family tree was deciduous, being forsaken feeds the reasoning
i breathe the leading sin, quizing between Envy and Pride
it seems like ive been deliberating for centuries at times
the baptist of fire- stolen from was the crest of a failed clan
upon the eve of defeat, im here re-iterating our best laid plans
its only a waste of time though, 'cause we leak when were hurt
ache, but what would it all be for? if i was free as a bird?
i'll still be on a leash or worse, no escaping common reality
i'd still be forlorn in this world if they bonded humanity
as i close my eye's i don't picture darkness, not off the cuff
i cant imagine nothing but 30 odd steel bars and not alot of luck
indeed i am stuck.. motionless.. inclement.. contemptible
wounded.. ventricals.. 1cm squared able space is sensible?
whole existences pass in instances, portraited in a flash
as the bodies lifestream depletes- there's no taking us back
no re-runs, encores, the show's over and the curtain's closed
i just wish i had this gateway blueprint.....
...before all version's of time frame's ceased to flow

Dunno If Some People Will Get My Writers Voice..But Anyway...

Bash 05-21-03 10:54 PM

Ill shit.........Wordplay was fuckin Ill............................all tha Lines were Blazing...........................Overall u get a 9/10

R-Sinic Jaws 05-21-03 11:34 PM

Yo I was really felling tha wordplay and tha good use of multi's. But that's me I tha type that loves multi's.But ur shit can correct stay up girl.

unifire 05-22-03 02:40 AM

this seriously shits on all your other works, not sayin that they were shit but this piece was extremely good, 9/10 everything was prefect cept i think suma the flow was out. but keep makin ur work like that
peace out..

SYNOPSIST 05-22-03 03:10 AM

yo yo yo this shit ws ill dun, i know this was a depressive piece na mean, and im feelin that but ya'll cats need to be doin some just straight spittin, punchlines, and all that hot ill shit...but yo this was of the richter son no doubt...check outy my new joint SHOCK VALUE!! THIS IS SYNOPSIST HOLLLA BACK

Atetrack define' 05-22-03 06:50 AM

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeee....another ill peice by the n-demik...illness dun...agian...pu tit on audio dammit haha...equilibrium...bwhahah,such an ill word....not heard enough,but used to a good quantity...tryign to cypher with more personality isn tlike abc ,that line was ill,had a good meaning,niceness...1cm squared able space is sensible?....<<illllll...haha,another il drop,you just keep bulilding on your style demik,its keeps gettin gbetter,no doubt,keep at it dun.....my bad for hte reply,tis kinda rushed,have a bus to catch aha...

one`

N-Demik 05-22-03 08:04 AM

Quote:
But ur shit can correct stay up girl.


LmaO...

Thanks For The Appreciation

LoL@Atetrack define's Rushed Reply.. :D I Could Put This In Audio, It Actually Flows Well In A C-Rayz Rhymes Scheme.

Atetrack define' 05-22-03 02:08 PM

n-demik is a girl???...with avoice liek that???that would scare a kindergardener im sorry...c-rayz is ill.....i have time for a goo dreply now haha...


k here we go...

everythign i said before...without the weeee...thing...i liked how toward the end you used alot of pausing,that was good,the,

motionless.. inclement.. contemptible
wounded.. ventricals.. part...that was good,and how it flowed intot he ending of th everse so nicely with th e1cm square based thing nahmena,shit was nice....my family tree was deciduos..being forsaken feeds the reasoning....damn you ,you smart ass....why you come up with such a nice line...pssshhh to you...:P..the senses if mahines iscillating like men what ill,thats a nice line to think over...with a shoe ont eh adjacent foot,im still a broken mosaic....DAMN!!!.....i hope cats actually read this nad understood what was going on,if they didnt they jsut fools...well they would be for not understanding...but they are still fools....i liked how you did present tense an edifice,i have trouble thinking o fshit like that to rhyme with,its difficult for me,but you did it nicely with that line,real clever...blank void,animate lonely...oooohhh......coz we leak when we hurt ache,.what can it be all for?....ahhhhh...i jsut wish i had gatewyas blueprint,before all time ceases to flow,sory if i ve got i wrong,but that was one of th ebest ending ive heard in a long time....shit had a meaning....this was a real nice peice dem,youd be kiddin your self not audioin it...if audioin is a word,if it isnt,it is now k?...shit was amazing.nothin more can be said...ill..

BlUnT-MC 05-22-03 02:34 PM

nice, I actually didn't mind reading this one.. lol.. word play and flow were almost perfected.. "an agents kiss doesn't wake this blank void animating lonely
trying to reach the good books of the fantasies shown to me
mechanical senses oscillate quite like the greed of boring men
but im snagged on the cogs within, for three score and ten"..... those two bars were very ill... keep spittin gurl

N-Demik 05-22-03 05:14 PM

Quote:
keep spittin gurl


Grrrrrrrr......

Whoa Thanks Alot For The More InDepth Reply Atetrack define'...Highly Appreciated

Quote:
damn you ,you smart ass....why you come up with such a nice line...pssshhh to you...:P


LoL...I was In The Zone I Guess :D

Thanks For The Reply As Well Blunt....

I Guess An Avatar Can Make People Think Anything.. LMAO :rolleyes:

Atetrack define' 05-23-03 03:27 AM

but htey never thought it when you had the one when she was half naked?...go figure.

N-Demik 05-23-03 06:59 AM

LmaO...

My Desktop Wallpaper Helps Me Think As Well :D :D

N-Demik 05-24-03 08:56 AM

Bollox... Upping This Cunt...In the Words Of K... :rolleyes:

guererouscg 05-24-03 10:31 AM

YO THAT SHIT WAS NICE, LIKE EVERYONE SAID YOUR COLABIRATION OF WORD WAS IL'. NICE WORK, SOME WHAT MOTIVATING AS WELL

Maven 05-24-03 12:16 PM

damn, this was really nice girl. Just playin dude, heh.
Somehow, this piece seems like its from the perspective of a very intelligent dog, talking about how his species has been enslaved...or maybe I'm just crazy...
anyway, like everyone else said, this had sickening wordplay, multis and vocab, but a couple of your rhymes didn't seem to rhyme...
I saw some internal rhymes too, but that might've just been coincidence
Peace


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