RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   "Betrayed" (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=50838)

Twiztid_chick69 05-27-03 03:15 PM

"Betrayed"
 
Tell me what you think of this. It's kinda simple but I thought I would go ahead and post it...Thankz...

You Promised that You would Always be there
That you would never give up, and Always care
You Said that You Would be around
That you would never Let me Down
Now, When I need you the most, You're not here
You told me That you wouldn't make me shed a Tear
Who do You Think You are?
To tell me we are close, Yet, We are so Far
What the Hell do you think you are doing?
Who do you think You are Fooling?
I bought too many of your innocent Lies
For too many nights you have made me cry
Telling me things that werent True
And my Whole damn life, I believed You
I waited for you Every night
Staying awake untill daylight
Sometimes I just Close me eyes and scream out your name
But when I Re-open Them, Your gone, Just the same
Why couldn't you just have stayed?
Now I'm all alone, Feeling Betrayed...

DiverseSyndicate 05-27-03 05:14 PM

like i always say this piece was tight,it was intresting,good use of words and kinda sad to,keep postin this tight shit baby girl.

Twiztid_chick69 05-27-03 05:35 PM

Thank you! I enjoy hearing responses from you. Thanks for the feedback! ;)

peAce

The Necromancer 05-28-03 01:22 AM

Hey, this was another good peice of yours. This one was better, and it was a real great venting peace. It flowed properly with no pauses or breaks, and the content itself really expressed how hurt you felt. Of course... feeling hurt isn't a good thing. But being able to express it is.

~Shalom~

Twiztid_chick69 05-29-03 10:49 AM

Thanks for the response. I agree about the hurt..lol. But this is about the only way I know to express my thoughts or feelings. Thankz once again :)

peAce

Noiz 05-31-03 05:16 PM

Its Alright...Just Make It A Litle Bit More In Depth And It Will Be Straight

Peace.

Twiztid_chick69 06-06-03 01:32 PM

Thanks for the advice...I appreciate it ;)

peAce

Eviley 06-07-03 05:38 AM

i liked it....i check out all yo shit i like your style...stay up

Twiztid_chick69 06-09-03 02:10 PM

Thankz...

peAce

Xxplicit_Dezire 06-09-03 03:02 PM

its sucks to feel betrayed huh ..but you shouldnt be feelin that hurt gurl..cuz u know theres many fish in sea and why be wit one that gonna hurt u like that nah mean...well thats my opinion but hey anyways cool poem ....and keep up tha nice job...pz and much luv

Twiztid_chick69 06-14-03 11:41 AM

I totally agree with you..Thank you for the feedback...I appreciate it...Stay Kool...

peAce


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:01 AM.